I would’ve used Kanye’s “Workout Plan” but I’m still pissed/disappointed by his VMA stunt. So…. I’ve decided to go with a new millenium Madonna video. True, she seems to go overboard but it’s evident she works out.
Over the last 6-7 months, I’ve managed to lose a few pounds and inches. I don’t know the specifics of both but let’s just say it’s been enough to make admiring my closet a less enjoyable endeavour. You see I have a shopping problem. And nothing like unemployment makes you realize the need to use what you’ve got (at least as it relates to clothes). So rather than add to and complement what I have, I’m having to figure out what would be tailor-able and pay more just to be able to wear something I already own.
I know that as a typical female I’m not supposed to complain about losing weight… but I can’t help it. The whole (okay, well maybe not the whole) reason I changed up my gym routine enough to see a change (you know like actually going more than once a week) was that my clothes were getting a little snug. I wanted to not have to go up a size. Obviously, I went too far b/c now I’m forced to go down a size (or two in certain cases). This scenario might be wonderful if I had the funds to replace all those 8s with 6s but that is sadly not the current case. Thank goodness I have a wonderful tailor. (For one of my interviews, I HAD to keep my blazer buttoned. The shirt and skirt were so big it looked like I was playing dress up in my mother’s clothes. But not necessarily my mother since we’re about the same size but you get the point….)
Aside from clothing adjustments, my weight loss has caused a number of people to speak out, either in support or lazy envy. No one is negative toward me. It’s just difficult to hear a sentence start “You look great” and end with “but look at me.” Sure, we all have areas we could work on but for the most part, the people in my life look good. (But I won’t deny we could all benefit from a few extra hours at the gym. Flat abs don’t just appear and jiggle-y butts don’t suddenly firm up.) However, in these and similar scenarios, I always wonder if people are saying those things b/c they believe them or b/c they’re hoping I’ll disagree. Do I feed into the obvious set-up for a compliment or agree with their assessment (whether I really agree or not)? Either response could be bad. So I generally opt for the silent shake of the head “No” and smile. Anyone can read into that what they like but having that conversation with someone like me could be potentially dangerous, especially if you pick the wrong side.
I have to admit that it’s interesting that my weight loss has prompted others around me to feel more comfortable to point out their faults to me. Flabby arms, extra butt cheeks, non-pregnancy pouches, whatever. It’s as if they project their insecurities onto me. Obviously I too must have been unhappy with my own reflection to change it as much as I have.
My roommate recently made a comment that just made me laugh. She’d been off in her own world thinking about something when she suddenly turns to me and asks “Is it bad that looking at someone else makes me want to work out?” It took me a second to realize what she’d meant and then I just couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I’d made similar comments for the last few years and been told that I was just being mean. It was reassuring to have someone else say it out loud.
You’re not necessarily judging the other person. You don’t know their situation. But when you see someone else with a lot of extra fill in the blank you just might think to yourself “I don’t want to look like that.” You’re not saying that person should change or that there’s even anything wrong with their fill in the blank. But you are realizing that you’d personally like to avoid that size of a fill in the blank. You don’t think you’d “carry it well.” Arms that continue to wave after you’ve stopped, ass cheeks that spread to your hips, love handles you hate, fupas, cellulite (no explanation necessary), whatever your case might be.
There are only three ways to handle that situation. Regretfully accept the evolution of your own fill in the blank, exercise and diet/eat healthy (I refuse to “diet”), or rely on drugs and/or tactics to limit your food intake. I hope that no one makes themselves sick and understand that some evolutions just have to be accepted. But I also realize that I am 25, single, not a mother, financially able to eat healthily, and physically able to exercise. I don’t really have any excuses. So I had to stop creating them when my pants didn’t fit anymore.
Excited that I actually have a waist now,
Jo’van
The Truth: According to Jo'van 