Sadly no video from a duet for the ages from the Royals Class of 2002. 😉
Last year, I attended my 10 year high school reunion. While I didn’t expect any real drama, it was still largely/sadly uneventful. Despite the efforts of our two organizers, only about a third of our class showed up for one part or another. But the truly disappointing thing was the near lack of surprises. For the most part, all you needed was a Facebook account and a little time on your hands to “catch-up” via legal cyber stalking.
Apparently foregoing potentially awkward, inconvenient and/or costly reunions in favor of social media is not limited to the Royals class of 2002. School reunion attendance is on the downturn… New York Times story “Remember Me From Yesterday?”
As the graduating class of 2002, my classmates and I were among the early adopters of Facebook. The site, which launched in February 2004 at Harvard but quickly spread across U.S. college campuses, was new, novel and a seemingly better option than MySpace or BlackPlanet. (Remember that? Haha.) In addition, in the beginning you had to have a college/university email address. That alone gave you the impression of exclusivity (and hopefully fewer high school kids and creepy old men lying about…well everything).
After a few months of gentle prodding from an early adopter friend, I signed up near the end of the first semester of my junior year and joined the Facebook “revolution”.
For better or worse, Facebook has been a part of my (near) daily life for 8 years now. Much like iPods perfected/cemented what mp3 players “should be”, Facebook redefined social media. Millions of people cannot go a day – or an hour really… – without making sure they’re not missing out on life as defined by updates, photos and likes.
I both love and hate Facebook for its “magical” connective properties. Facebook, Twitter, instant messaging and texting have made it possible for us both to connect with people we would not normally get to see or talk to and also avoid real, meaningful interactions. Technology has opened the door for the socially awkward and passive aggressive to connect. You never have (or should want) to be more than one click or swipe away from EVERYONE! and their business. (While I recognize Skype and like video conferencing are among similar advances, I see it as more connective than passive. Sometimes it’s simply nice to see the people you’re talking to even if you can’t touch them.)
I’m not going to bemoan the death of our culture. But there have been significant changes, some I like, others I don’t. In the case of my high school reunion, your curiosity could be satisfied on your couch with a smart phone, denying people like me the opportunity to see it in real life. Come on, let’s be honest, people only post the most flattering or hilarious photos of themselves on Facebook. I want to see the trainwrecks and the still-beautiful-10-years-later-so-I-continue-to-hate-yous in person, under harsh lighting. Is that so wrong?
Oh, and of course, I loved seeing my more than Facebook friends (you know the ones whose birthdays I know BEFORE Facebook reminds me) in person. Our small group essentially used a reunion as an excuse to all be home at the same time. Everyone else was just extra. Facebook had already informed us of everything we thought we needed to know about you and your life.
Wondering if we’ll even have a physical 20 year reunion? Perhaps just Skype or FaceTime?
I don’t really care for Keyshia Cole or Lil Kim but for whatever reason whenever I stress about my roommate I have to remind myself sometimes I just have to “Let It Go”
Over the last 10 months or so, my roommate and I have been having “issues” to say the least. While her change in relationship status (and seemingly ever-present boyfriend) played a big part in those changes, the greater issues lie in our inability to communicate and respect each other’s feelings. Bills are paid on time. The common space is kept clean. The dogs are loved and cared for. Music/TV are kept at reasonable volume levels. For all of the points on paper, the things I would’ve told my residents in college to consider, we are good roommates. However, on the irrational/emotional level, not so much.
On a purely selfish level, I wish her boyfriend would vacate the picture. He drives me crazy in an extremely passive way. But he’s a nice guy who seems to have his shit together and she seems happy with him. So I wouldn’t really wish that. Instead for months, I told myself I needed either less of him around or more reasons to not be around myself. I simply feel uncomfortable with him/them. But that passive aggressive reaction has only caused what feels like an ulcer and hours of complaining to those around me. So rather than carry this feeling of discomfort in my own home into our new place (lease to be signed tomorrow), I’ve decided to accept I’ve lost my wife and gained just a roommate.
Our current apartment has a nice set-up for roommates. The bedrooms are large with massive closets and our own bathrooms. We only share the living space. Unfortunately, the common space is very small. Whenever I come home and they’re on the couch, I feel like I’m nearly in their lap. (I’d say laps but it really seems like a single unit most of the time…) Because I feel so uncomfortable, I rarely spend any time with them. In fact, unless we’re sitting at the dining room table, I’m never around them. It just feels awkward and not important to anyone but me. He spends more time on the couches I haven’t paid off yet than I do. For some reason, I see that as a problem.
When she became serious about this guy, I wanted to like him. I love my roommate. If someone is important to her, I hope I can like them and at least be happy around them. It’s rare that I haven’t liked a close friend’s significant other. There have been some I wouldn’t necessarily care to be around alone. But generally, I’ve liked them, been able to laugh with them and carry on small talk. Unfortunately, I don’t feel that way about my roommate/ex-wife’s boyfriend. Our conversations are strained, our personalities clash and he’s in our apartment a lot. But as she so eloquently put it after a big argument, she knew we wouldn’t be friends so she saw no need in even trying to facilitate that. So I’ve been given the out. I don’t have to like him. But he is here quite often. How do I at least deal with him/them?
First, I had to figure out/decide what my major issue was. Was he the root of our problems or was it us? As much as he may annoy me :-), he’s not our issue. She seemingly turned into a different person upon entering this relationship and I didn’t/haven’t adjusted as quickly. While there are things she’s done that I feel are just plain wrong (and I recognize that I’ve done such things as well), she’s still a good roommate. She’s just a shitty wife…to me. (She seems great with him now.) When we used to talk to each other about our days, she only talks to him. When we used to go grocery shopping together and fix meals for both of us, she now cooks with her man every evening for the two of them. When she would go out with me and our friends, she now spends 99% of her time with him alone. (I have to give her the 1% when she shocks everyone and actually comes out.) When I’m really annoyed, I feel she’s turned into the type of woman who lives to work and be with her man but I understand that’s not really the case. She’s just busy and this new relationship is a priority and an escape. Either way, there’s nothing inherently wrong with it and more importantly, it’s really none of my business. If she’s happy, she should do whatever she wants. She’s apparently happy in this relationship. I just don’t think I was ready for the swift change in our relationship because of it. (I might, in fact, be a little jealous.) I just need to focus on the parts that are my business. Only my life, my comfort and my relationship with her should be my concerns.
Anyway, most people seem to ignore the rest of the world when they’ve entered the honeymoon stage of a relationship. When you do it, you’re simply “getting to know this new person, fostering the relationship”. When you’re single (or co-dependent) and one of your friends does it, they’re “ignoring the people who’ve always been there for them.” Either way, you emerge and after a few snide remarks, your relationships are intact or they’re gone and weren’t all that strong to begin with.)
So with all of this drama and discomfort, why would I sign another 12 month lease with her (and her boyfriend)? That’s a very good question. And the answer could simply be money. Having quit my 2nd job, my finances wouldn’t allow me to live by myself right now. My car note will be paid off in a year and even if I don’t get a raise (since the economy still sucks), I will be able to afford to live (comfortably) on my own next year. Until then, having a roommate is the smartest move I could make. That’s not to say we won’t want to live together in a year (but it’s a distinct possibility…). And you know what? I already have a great roommate. And a great friend. I’m just struggling with signing the divorce papers.
There WILL be more issues this year. I am not naive enough to believe there won’t be. What I’ve had to do is simply realize we don’t think alike. There are things I consider to be courtesy that she considers a given. And there are things she considers normal that would never cross my mind. If it were me and my mother and/or friend were planning to stay in our small apartment for nearly two weeks, I’d want to ask her rather than inform her (although fully expecting an “of course, no problem”). And if it were her and I had someone over all of the time, she’d probably never say anything about it as long as that person were respectful of her space. After knowing each other for 8 years, we both should know better but obviously we don’t always. There’s always room for growth.
We met in the fall of 2002, randomly selected roommates at Iowa State. Terrified my first roommate would be a whore, a freak, really annoying or disgusting, I was very pleased to have her. She was smart, sweet, compassionate and easy to live with. Sharing one room can be very difficult. To survive with your sanity, you have no choice but to be very cognizant of your roommate and their mannerisms. What about you and the world makes them tick? What habits can and should you avoid to maintain balance? What can’t you stand? And how do you communicate that respectfully? These are the types of things I worked with my residents to figure out as an RA. It’s time (in fact months past time) that we went back to being first roommates and second friends if it happens to work out that way. I wouldn’t go as far as a contract but we might just need to talk it all out, as opposed to just parts when we’re angry.
*Plus, the last two months have been really stressful for her. As a good friend and a decent roommate, I owe her some allowances. She did afterall deal with my depressed/angry/hurt phase this summer after being rejected and laid off. When she recovers from this, though, we’re officially starting over. I value our relationship and really hope another 12 months will not be the death of it. I’ll do my part to prevent that from happening but also realize I can’t/shouldn’t be the only one feeling this pressure. I guess we have 12 months to decide if this is such a good idea…
Excited to move out of an apartment and into a great house,
Jo’van
…Although I will say it would be WONDERFUL if they spent more time at his place. Sometimes it’s nice to pretend/feel like you live alone…
When you reach a certain age, you and your friends start to find “more than friends.” Romantic relationships are healthy, wonderful, fun, etc. Aside from nuns, priests and people who hate all human interaction, most people hope to eventually be in some lasting relationship. Not everyone’s into marriage but something steady with someone you care about, are attracted to and can trust? That’s gotta sound pretty good.
One phenomenon that I notice generally with women is ignoring their platonic friendships. While I’m sure this happens with men on some level, I have less experience in that area so I’ll just stick with attacking the ladies. Anything new in your life takes up time that may have allocated for something else. And unlike a new job or a hobby, a new person in your life requires A LOT of one-on-one time. You have to figure out who this person is, what they like to do, what you have in common, what drives you crazy about them, what you couldn’t live without, what you never knew you’d like, etc. But you also have to remember the people and things that were in your life before this person.
It’s always amazed me the way some people can completely change how they live there lives when romance becomes part of the picture. I’m not saying I’d be above this unfortunate generality but since I’ve avoided the second part of the scenario, I can still feel justified in my condemnation.
When your friend first disappears into the shadow/car/arms/bed/whatever of their new beau, all is pretty much forgiven. They’re in the honeymoon period. Let them have their fun. However, when this new situation begins to affect YOUR normal life, it starts to become a problem. When your old road dog/concert attendee/danceclub partner/movie buddy refuses keep things “the way they always were”, as the forgotten friend, you have to decide how much you’re willing to forgive and accept.
We’re not married to our friends. As evident by the happily (or just long) married couples I know, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend. All other friends are essentially utilized to share or vent about the things your significant other doesn’t/can’t understand. This all sounds great. It makes sense. But living it for the first time is different.
I’m 25. At this age, (while none of my immediate friends) a lot of people are already married or at least engaged. I have friends moving in with their boy/girlfriends, buying furniture together, planning extended vacations, discussing rings, spending every available night together. Despite the tone of this post, I am genuinely happy for them. If they’ve found someone/something that truly makes them happy, how could I not be? As a real friend, I have to support.
However, as the friend who’s found a “someone”, you have to decide if your friendships are strong enough to withstand your honeymoon period (no matter how long it lasts). I may love you forever but that doesn’t mean that after 6 months of being ignored, I’m going to be all that open to keeping you busy just because your man’s out of town. I might just tell you to kiss my ass. 🙂
Like romantic relationships, friendships take time and courtesy. We may not be going to bed together but friends do make uncomfortable sacrifices of their time for each other. It’s just part of it. Some people can maintain both worlds but the only way to do that is value it. If you left me, you may have to put in work to get back in my good graces or just drift off…
One common misconception is that it’s the significant other’s fault. Sure, they can influence what you do, who you see and how often BUT the ultimate decision, and therefore fault, lies with the friend. Unless violence is an issue, no one can make your friend do anything they didn’t want to. You may not like the boy/girlfriend but it’s never right to blame the stress or dissolution of your friendship on them.
As non-family members, friends don’t HAVE to love you. They choose to. Remember to appreciate that choice. Not being friends can just be easier, even for the one not searching to make time for it. Play with your friends, go home to your honey. (Unless of course you live with your friends. In that case, go to your boy/girlfriend’s house. There’s no point in making your friend uncomfortable or feeling unwelcome/uninvited in their own home. That’s a whole new level of stress.)
I couldn’t find a song to address the topic of my post so I settled on some high-energy, neon-colored, baggy, condom-as-accessories wearing TLC circa 1993. “What About Your Friends”
Vodpod videos no longer available.
I’ve spent the past few days with my family in Phoenix. My younger sisters are still technically teenagers and have high school friends in and out of the house all the time. While school shopping, my youngest sister continued to run into friends. Oh, youth. I was told that at 25 I’m old by a 17-year-old. While I personally disagree, I wanted to quickly leave the situation. I have no desire to go back to high school but still… Aside from feeling a little old and nostalgic as one sister starts her senior year of high school and the other gears up to move to California for college, I miss having friends that you were tied to by nothing more than sharing a class.
Junior high, high school, even college, aside from flirting and fighting, you were surrounded by people your own age with nothing else to do but figure out something together. A friend recently made the point that that’s why so many people find their mates in college. Four years in a small area with thousands of people within three years of your age. The odds have to be in your favor. Graduating and entering the real world, you lose that easy access to potential friends with more things in common than working in the same office, living in the same apartment complex or going to the same gym. Sure, a campus atmosphere may help to foster romantic relationships but it also allows for easy access to platonic relationships.
As an adult in the real world (granted my real world is limited), I find it much more difficult to foster relationships that are genuine. I’ve been lucky to make friends with the people I’ve worked with. However, as I move onto the next professional endeavour (whatever it is), I wonder if my next office/store will have people of similar age, interest and personality. Will I become the “young, unmarried” one in the office? What then?
Another thing I’ve realized about being an “adult” is the minimal purely platonic interaction with the opposite sex. Any single, straight man that I am cordial with now is tied to some aspect of work or is someone else’s friend (usually from high school or college). Gone seem to be the days of just hanging out with friends who happen to be male. Without the platonic common ground to start the conversation, most of my interactions with the opposite sex are under the guise of flirting. Sure, that can be fun but once one of you realizes there’s no spark, it’s often difficult to establish a friendship when there hadn’t been one to begin with.
I miss guy friends, the male perspectives, the big brothers, the ridiculous little brothers. I miss laughing at the stupid comments, complete inability to dress, or snap judgements of the opposite sex. I miss watching football, or grilling, or sitting around in whatever was the closest and cleanest. I like men. I mean I love them and are attracted to them and all. But I also just really love being around men. Because I’m pretty high-maintenance and catty, I don’t particularly care to be around women all of the time. Sometimes I need a break from talking about weight, hair, relationships (real and completely in our heads), clothes, shoes. I’m not saying that women as a whole or my friends are shallow (or my male friends for that matter are all that deep). We discuss whatever comes to mind with few filters. It’s just that what comes to my mind around women and men is usually different. I miss being able to explore that other side every now and again. Sometimes I’d just rather be in the company of people who are not going to over-analyze more than I have. Rather than offer alternative suggestions, I get straight answers.
At my age, it seems I should be (and am) concerned with finding my next romantic relationship. However, sometimes/most times I wouldn’t mind just hanging out with a male friend without the quotation marks or hope of something different.
Okay, okay. Something a little more serious. Oh, classic Mariah, brunette, seemingly sane, fully equip with choir and everything. “Anytime You Need a Friend”
Earlier this summer, I had the opportunity to hang out with two friends from Nashville in Chicago (confused yet?). I’ve known one of the ladies since 7th grade and the other since 9th, 13 and 11 years consecutively. Those numbers seem like an eternity to a 25 year old. Just knowing someone for 3 years sounds like a significant amount of time. Over 2 years? Okay, you’re verified as a friend. What does more than a decade mean?
If you were lucky/unlucky enough to live in one area and attend area schools your entire elementary education, you may have people you’ve realistically known since kindergarten. I don’t mean to take anything away from those people but since I didn’t, 7th grade would have to be my longest maintained relationship and it sounds pretty significant to me.
These ladies have known me for (nearly) half of my life. They’ve seen me fight, cry, yell, stare, run, and smile. We’ve seen each other through puberty, AP tests, custody battles, puppy love, first loves, college applications, driver’s licenses, parties, prom, and leaving all of that behind for college. We fell apart during those college years, casually seeing each other when we were all back home but it was never the same. And as sad as that realization may have been, there was still something that made us come back together (hoping). I always wondered what that was exactly. Obviously, we’d all changed and no longer had the classroom to force us together. What was it that made me still call her “my friend”? And actually mean it?
Spending that evening together made me realize what it might be. Intoxicated by wine, nostalgia, good food and ridiculous conversations, we quickly moved past the awkward “so how have you been over the last X years?” Within the time of a rerun of Family Matters, we were back in the place of giddy adolescents. Sure, we’ve all changed, grown up, gotten master’s degrees or “real jobs”, physically filled out, moved past pimples and onto real relationships, taken on new responsibilities and the like. BUT we also all loved not having to worry about that in each other’s company. We reverted to gossiping, giggling, smart-ass 15-year-olds, fueled by slumber party antics. Just trying to take a group picture at the end of the night was a monumental feat. We simply could not stop laughing. And it felt SO good. 🙂 Laughing at nothing but ourselves.
Anyway, that evening made me realize why we should, or at least why I still do, hold onto these types of friendships for so long. It’s not because these people really play a big role in your life now. I’m not saying they’re not important or that they couldn’t reclaim their roles of indispensable friends. It’s just that your life operates just fine without their daily/weekly/monthly interaction. But when you are with them you can become a person you haven’t been for a long time, since you really knew each other. You get to not be a “real” grown up. You get to talk about gossip, not just politics, outfits, not just bills, crushes, not just relationships, life, not just drama. These are the people that knew you when you didn’t know any better AND still liked you. These are the friends who knew you pre-filter, pre-adult judgment, pre-responsibilities, pre-grown up.
All other friends I’ve made since these ladies and our core/clique have known me in some part of my transition from child to adult. Sure, these types of “pure” friendships are possible with people you meet past the age of , say, 16. But they require a type of trust we learn to not give so freely as we get older. For that reason, there may never be anything like the relationships you have/had with the people who knew the child who knew everything, rather than the adult who realizes they know very little.
Thankful people still liked me when I didn’t know any better,
Eamon’s “F*ck It”. It doesn’t exactly fit but a friend recently reminded me of this song and I thought I’d share in the laughter. WARNING: This song contains language not suitable for children.
It’s official. My wife is cheating on me and he’s more than just a fling. How dare she find someone of the opposite sex to care about and spend her time with! Didn’t she know that we were supposed to be perpetually single together? And how dare the person actually be cool and good to/for her! Or nice to me and my dog! Now what am I going to do? I enjoyed avoiding relationships with my little comrade.
Okay, so it may not be that extreme but sometimes it could feel that way if I let it. There is something about getting comfortable with your current situation. It doesn’t mean you love every part of your life but that you at least know how to deal with it all. What do you do when something suddenly changes without your consent?
As with most things, this is all about me. (Haha) I can’t write about what she feels or thinks although I know that she’s adjusting to this as well. But her adjustment is at least more fun than mine. I am losing my wife, my comrade, my little buddy. And I can’t be happier for her or sadder for me. 😦
You see it’s not completely that I’m jealous of him taking her away from me (although that’s a big part of it). I’m also jealous of her. Months ago, we discussed our perpetual singledom. I thought I was done with it. I might actually be ready to end the streak. She on the other hand had absolutely no intention of abandoning her current state. Fast forward a couple of months and she’s with a really good guy and I’m forced to watch them hold hands at dinner and cuddle on our couch. Because I’m bitter and have the selective maturity of a 12-year-old, it all makes me a little uncomfortable. I’m not ready for her to move on because that forces me to accept she won’t always be around when I want her to be and to consider why I haven’t, especially since I’m the one that thought they wanted to. I know you can’t force things and everything good comes in time but still…
After relaying my current childish frustration, a non-single friend of mine told me that of course these things happen and that I shouldn’t feel bad about feeling whatever I’m feeling. Since she’s in a long-distance relationship, she relies on her single friends during the week. She’d prefer for them to stay single if only for her sake. Now, while that may sound a little selfish, I can only appreciate it that much more because she’s being honest. A close friend entering a new romantic relationship can be a difficult thing to deal with/accept/be happy about regardless of your relationship status. Your life changes and you don’t get to enjoy any of the benefits of this change. All I can do is be happy for her. But no one said how quickly or gracefully I had to make this adjustment.
There’s no resolution for this post . I’m just sharing my situation, frustration and childish reactions. I’m happy my wife is cheating on me but I’ll still be bitter for a little while longer.
Do you have that person that knows everything about you but drives you absolutely crazy? Who understands exactly how you work and what makes you tick but seems to make no efforts not to set you off? And you’re NOT romantically involved? That would be my roommate, Mary.
I love her. She’s the Puerto Rican sister I never had (or wanted). Aside from our bitchy-ness and complete avoidance of relationships, we are complete opposites. I am tall, she is short. I am permanently tan, she is perpetually pale. I am a proverbial stick (or log as my mother says), she is a s bootylicious, kid-size coke bottle. I am analytical and literal, she is creative and artsy. I am loud and abrasive, she’s quiet and secretive. When we travel, I book the travel and hotels. She manages the activities. As evident by the painting in our living room, she’s the yin to my yang. (Or is it the yang to my yin? I don’t remember what they both mean.)
Opposister - "Extremes create a balance, not power. Abstract meaning nothing without the concrete. You are as much my opposite as my sister." We worked on a project together in college titled "Opposister". She made the visuals and I wrote poetry about the nature of our relationship. Recorded with music, the poems played from a speaker built into the back of the frame. There was also a book that chronicled the process.
It’s interesting to have a friend who feels so much like family. While I consider her my sister, sometimes it seems more fitting to refer to her as my wife. We’re like roommates for life (but not really. I hope one day both of us can be married to other people…). All of the bills are split down the middle. We’re “raising” our children (the dogs) together. When I’m running late in the morning, she’ll make my coffee and put it in a mug. If I know she’s drank a little more than normal, I’ll try to make sure we have Powerade in the morning. Leftovers are automatically separated into tupperware for our lunches the next day. She does most of the cooking and cleaning. I get to carry the heavy items upstairs. (To be fair, she’ll do this also. It’s just easier for me to do it most of the time.) When I’m going out or doing something, I’ll often say “we”, just assuming she’s coming along. My friends are her friends and it only seems natural that they should be. When we fight, we often try to end it and pout for a few hours or days then just get over it. In short, we’re a married couple who’s not intimate. (As much as I love her, that would just be gross and wrong. Ewwww.)
She’s the only person I’ve lived with since leaving home. (That is if you don’t count my semester in Florence with 8 roommates. I had my own room and was the only person that showered at night. Plus, most people seemed to just stay out of my way. I haven’t the slightest idea why…) She was my randomly placed freshman roommate at Iowa State. My greatest fears about my roommate were that she’d be a whore or disgusting. Lucky for me, she was neither. Just a pretty little girl who seemed cool and had an accent I needed to get used to. (I still translate for people that haven’t been around her that much. It makes perfect sense to me now….Well most of the time 🙂 ) We were lucky enough to be roommates that became friends and not friends that decided to live together. We understood how the other person lives and operates before really getting to know the person. The funny thing is that we only lived together for one year in college. I became an RA my sophomore year and we weren’t allowed to have roommates. She graduated a year later than I did and decided to move to Austin. Four years later, we were living together again. But this time we had our own bedrooms and didn’t share a bathroom with 40 other girls, a major upgrade. We just signed our lease for another year. We’re going two years strong but way past the newlywed period.
Our weird dynamic seems to work. As often as she wears on my nerves (and vice versa), we both know this is a good situation. I don’t know if I’ll find a better roommate. And I’m not hoping to have to look for one anytime soon. She’s one of a handful of people who’ve seen me cry and I’m okay with that. We’ve gone through things that will never be forgotten but need never be brought up again. We’ve backpacked across Western Europe together for a month and although we got close near the end, we didn’t kill each other. She’s my outlet after work. I’m her “I have dumb question” person. If something happens in public, we need not exchange words, just a glance. We’re convinced we’re going to hell but find (some) comfort in the fact that we’d probably be going together. It’s cool. It works. And I hope it continues to work.
So for anyone that’s heard me talk about “My Wife” and wondered, there you go, the full explanation. Yes, I have a platonic wife but I’m technically single and into men.
Have you ever found yourself with a certain group of people for a particular purpose? The purpose isn’t that important. It could be a prayer group, a French group, an ex-employee group, a band, an exercise group, whatever. The important thing is they’re not family and you don’t rely on them for a paycheck.
Everything is wonderful when it begins. You got together for a good reason and was excited to do so. Whoo hoo, fun! Until it starts to fall apart. Level of communication disintegrates. People start to wear on your nerves. When do you know if enough is enough? When do you say goodbye?
Without a NEED for these people, what binds you together? When you’ve done everything you can to salvage the relationship, how do you get out without being a complete jerk? It’s difficult to remain rational when you’re the only one who has a problem the way things have fallen apart. Everyone else just thinks that the way things should go. I (I mean) YOU wonder if you’re being ridiculous. Are you the one with the problem?
It’s okay. It’s only natural to think such things if you’re the ONLY one thinking that way. But then again, people tend to find other people that think the way they do. Maybe YOU’RE the only one in the group that’s different. Different is fine, actually sometimes it can be good. Except when being different makes you feel alienated or (almost) worse, annoyed beyond belief. When do you give up?
The Truth: According to Jo'van 