Words have power. Of course, I’ve never been able to fully recognize the actual power of the words I use but the potential’s undeniable. I remember things strangers told me (positive and negative) from age 7 and have been confronted with the impact of things I’d told people (positive and negative) 5 years earlier. Let’s be honest the negative things have a tendency to stick with you longer…
I began my career as a “creative” in the mid-90s. (Haha. I sound so old.) My middle school song writing evolved into high school poetry, college performances of both and blogging in my twenties. I can’t exactly claim that anything I’ve ever created/written has been good – especially pre-2004 – but I’ve found increasing pleasure in “composing” and finding “acceptance” in “performing” my “pieces”. All of that is in quotations because I would like to avoid coming off as a prententious poet but either way it’s pretty cool to see friends and strangers alike react (positively) to carefully chosen words expressing some part of yourself.
You don’t have to call yourself a songwriter or a poet in order to be one. Anyone willing to share a piece of themself and essentially letting it go deserves some level of recognition. While all art is relative, I understand thtat some things are good and others just bad. But I try to respect the effort (except that of Souljah Boy and Heidi Montag, ugh)
As someone who has “created” for years (15 years makes me a veteran, right?), I began to notice over the last 2+ years that I had less motivation – or maybe just less to say. My writing has slowly evolved from broad (simple songwriting) to personal (poetry) to borderline narcissistic (blogging). And while there are still plenty of things I’d like to say, I haven’t found the drive to do so. I get lazy and wonder who cares anyway?
“Who cares?” That is probably the most troublesome question any “creative” can ask themselves. Not that everything that every/anyone could create is amazing but not knowing your audience immediately isn’t such a bad thing. Unless you’re writing on deadlines or with retainers chasing you, most “creatives” create on their own time, on their own terms.
Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to create a piece for a particular audience. If you have it (or need it), go for it. But if you only have an idea, chase it. The human brain is an amazing “thing”. Your entire life’s experience and observations can be revealed in the subtle connections our minds make to things. I’d imagine it’s rare an artist’s initial vision is the final outcome. We often learn as we go along. A genuine idea can be the hardest thing to find. When you do, run with it. Unlike an architect or hairstylist, if a creative has an idea (they’re not being commissioned to develop), that turns out bad or ill-formed, nothing’s been spent but time. No one else has to know. No one else really has to judge. Chalk it up to “not right now” and move on. I’ve started pieces or ideas that I’ve quit/grown tired/gotten distracted and come back to/been reminded of weeks/months/years later with renewed interest/new perspectives. The human mind and life experiences and all…
Recently, I’ve begun to wonder if I’ve “lost” my voice. I think I’d just quit/grown tired/gotten distracted from my entire creative side. I used to write about my recent drama’s, undiscovered loves and exaggerated heartbreaks. However, about the time my creative side quieted, life simply got more real. Layoffs, lost friendships, work struggles and successes, romantic failures and learning real love. I’m in a good place which can be fodder for great new pieces or unspoken contentment. But who really wants to be unspoken?
The spark’s been reignited. With my ashes for lent, I’ll just roll with this momentum, wherever it leads me.
Sincerely yours,
Jo’van
The Truth: According to Jo'van 