The World…As I See It: Striving to be an Expert at Something

Not a “good” song but the first one that came to mind…

When I Grow Up – Pussycat Dolls

When we were all in primary school, family, teachers and friends constantly asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”.  If you were anything like me, the answer to that question changed quite drastically, quite often.  (That is if you had an answer at all…)

At my kindergarten graduation, I proudly, and much to the surprise of my mother, announced that unlike my female classmates who wanted to be doctors or ballerinas, I wanted to be a policewoman (emphasis on the woman).  By elementary school I’d moved on to a more traditional veterinarian, only to develop an allergy to cats.  During middle school, I wanted to be a pop singer.  In junior high, a criminologist.  And by college, I happily followed the degree track for public relations.

At those times in my life, my goals and decisions were based solely on perception.  I have no idea where the policewoman came from but for everything else, those careers seemed cool and were (somewhat) related to my interests.  I loved dogs so obviously I was supposed to become a vet.  Music has been a long time passion of mine and I have a pretty good singing voice (patting myself on the back) so a pop singer it was.

Due to my analytical and potentially scientific mind and far too many episodes of Law and Order and CSI, a criminologist sounded pretty cool.  The idea of being a (functional) part of the justice system and proving people wrong without having to carry a gun or put myself in any real danger sounded like a great idea to me.

Our senior year high school counselor for whatever reason suggested I consider public relations.  I understood little more than the concept of a publicist but with a little research, PR sounded like a good fit.  I studied it for four years, learned just how relative it was, felt confident I had the necessary skill sets and GOT A JOB a month after I graduated!!!  Three years of loyal service was simply not enough to keep me employed during the “Great Recession.”  Working in a non-essential industry when your clients are facing financial and employee losses is not a good place to be… LAID OFF!

A couple of months later, I was fortunate enough to land a position in economic development for a prosperous city.  And there I am.  Very interesting, right?  Ok, probably not so much but my point is I have no better idea what I want to be when I grow up now than I did in kindergarten.  The only thing that’s really changed is having a better idea of what I DON’T want to be.

I’ve worked in areas that I was “good at” but that I didn’t find all that interesting.  In other words, I could do it but didn’t really want to.  The idea of becoming an “expert” in those areas sounded like a chore, rather than a goal.  A possibility, not a passion.

This concept of becoming an expert in my job is neither to my credit nor discredit.  It’s a part of my current boss’s mantra.  She wants her staff to be more than just “good” at what we do.  She wants us to strive to be and to also be considered by other people experts in our areas.  For the sake of her/our business, that goal makes complete sense.  In an industry/job equally influenced by skill AND perception, we need to be experts on the topic or at least on the experts.  The concept being sound there are still two very important questions to ask: 1.) Can YOU become an expert in your area? and 2.) Do you WANT to?  It’s okay if you can’t say immediately say yes to either but you should be working your way toward a definitive answer.

I have a strong feeling I’m not in my final career path.  Who knows where life experiences, tv shows, personal suggestions and random encounters will take me?  All I can hope is they’ll all lead me to a place I love and want to be.  I hope to be able to do more than sufficiently answer the question.  I hope to be able to find ways to get you to ask the question just so I can answer it with more information than you knew you wanted.  🙂  To be a fountain of knowledge, however useless it might be.  I’ve started that collection of random information in relation to contemporary music.  But maybe I should work on identifying a more “realistic” or at least useful subject.  I need another passion.

Two questions for you: What are you an “expert” in and is that in any way related to your current occupation?

Jo’van

December 27, 2010
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 3 Comments

The World…As I See It: (What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You) Stronger…Or Jaded

For Suave.  He requested a blog and so I wrote. 🙂

A song that actually has something to do with my post.  It’s been a while.  Aerosmith’s “Jaded”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…or jaded.”

Jokingly a friend said that a few months ago about an expected ending to an unfortunate romantic endeavour.  While we both laughed about it, saying it out loud (or typing it as it was actually over Facebook chat) made both of us pause.  (Thanks, Lesbro.)  Sure getting hurt makes you more adept to recognizing the warning signs and being able to deal with something similar in the future (…stronger).  BUT it’s rarely a happily learnt lesson (…jaded).

Where does the old adage originate?  Was it someone trying to make another person feel better about a crappy situation?  Or worse, trying to make themselves feel better?  I also wonder what it pertained to.  Was it romantic escapades, business ventures or family drama?  And how close to killing you must something get to qualify?

Similar adages “trial by fire”, “learn from experience”,”don’t knock it ’til you try it” all teach us the same thing: to know and truly learn something (good or bad) you have to live it.  Sure, sure, I get it.  I can’t understand what it feels like to fall in love, fly thru the clouds or burn my finger on the stove until I’ve done it.  But why should we always feel the need to try everything ourselves?  In many cases, I prefer to learn from other people’s mistakes.

Having the door shut my in face both literally and metaphorically, both romantically and professionally, hurt.  There’s no better way to describe it.  Both affected my self-image and self-evaluation.  Both made me question what I was “worth”.  While these questions were temporary (because obviously I’m amazing), a hit to your psyche on that level can have lasting effects.  My skin got thicker and my drive to succeed and/or be happy strengthened.

But just because those experiences didn’t kill me, the learned life lessons were not always positive.  I may be stronger but I am also jaded.   The blinders are off and the guards are up.  Having had a boss who blamed her staff for her mistakes, I’ve learned to consider how my ass would be covered before I speak (or type) a word.  Having dated a man who tore me down to build himself up, I’ve learned to be constantly defensive and wary of any compliments.  Being shocked and disappointed by people I love and respect, I’m increasingly mistrusting of new “heroes”.  You get the point.

Being jaded is not intrinsically a bad thing.  Jaded equals smarter, protected and careful.  But jaded also equals mistrusting, skeptical, and in many cases, solitary.  The minimal trials and tribulations in my extremely privileged 26 years of life certainly haven’t come anywhere close to killing me.  But they have changed me, some for the better, some for the worse.  Do we generally ignore the latter for the sake of a saying?  Or to avoid having to say anything else about it at all?

I also wonder about the flip side.  Are there experiences that if they don’t last forever are good just to have had?  Is “it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” the counterpart to “what doesn’t kill you”?  Why can’t we all just find comfort in knowing “this too shall pass” and be thankful we’ve experienced enough happiness to remind ourselves it’s possible and to remain open to it?  Maybe we already do and I just wanted to share my friend’s clever, yet poignant, remark…

Considering making jade my new stone of choice,

Jo’van

November 16, 2010
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 1 Comment

The World…As I See It: Diversity of Dedications

Thank you, Youtube, for this utter rhyming dictionary randomness.  This is so unrelated but I wanted to share.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ve8pt1bkwQ&feature=related

Recently a friend told me I had so/too many interests.  Due to my quite possible undiagnosed ADD, I don’t function well unless there are several things going on.  I need multiple projects at work, a handful of songs or poems in development, at least two books partially read on my nightstand, 500 albums on my iPod and a magazine to scan while I’m watching television.  Ok, so maybe the last one’s an exaggeration (Nothing can distract me from Law & Order: SVU), but the rest holds true.

Bored is a strong and potentially offensive word, but I get distracted easily.  There are so many random things that catch my interest and hold it for a little while.  Rather than work solely on one thing that may blow up in my face, listen to one album to the point of hating every single note or missing out on things of interest because my core of friends isn’t interested, I do my best to do it all.

I think doing it all, or at least trying it all, is great.  If something sounds interesting, try it.  As long as there aren’t potential negative lasting effects and it’s legal, I say go for it.  Hate it?  Never do it again.  Love it? Rave about it and recruit new participants for the next time.

So many of us are worried about getting out of our comfort zone that we avoid even the remotely foreign.  I am an uptight, well-spoken professional who loves Josh Groban and wineries who also sings in an r&b band, has two tattoos and wants a red Harley.  Rather than fit a ‘mold’, I’ve decided to just do what I want.

My diversity of dedications has introduced me to wide range of people and things.  I essentially have different groups of friends for different activities.  Rather than feel a need to succumb to the crowd in every situation, I find a new crowd headed in the direction I want to go for the moment.  This is not to say that I have bad or boring friends.  It’s just that not everyone likes the same things.  And until I find a group of people that like all of the same music, movies, food and activities, I do, I’ll count my blessings for being able to switch (always eventually coming back to the core).

This attitude of do and try it all comes with its drawbacks.  Sometimes you agree or sign up for too much because it’s either hard for you to keep track of everything else you’ve agreed to do or have a problem saying no because the person asking doesn’t understand everything else on your self-serve plate.  Sometimes because I tried this I also feel the need to try that, just to be fair.  But as long as I can time manage and afford to do all of the things I’m trying, I think I’m golden.

I’m either hopelessly lost or perfectly imbalanced.  But either way, I enjoy my diversity of dedications: work, music, people, food, a crazy cockapoo, tattoos, shoes, clothes, books, and the list goes on and on.

Enjoying the randomness,

Jo’van

October 21, 2010
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 3 Comments

The World…As I See It: Alas, An Idol I Am Not

Enjoy the musical stylings of someone I just saw in concert but doubt would be chosen by American Idol either.  (Not that I’m comparing, just saying)

Corinne Bailey Rae “Closer”

This week I auditioned for Season 10 of American Idol.  (I couldn’t believe it’d been 10 years.  I must confess I can only remember 7 of the 9.  Is that bad? Oh well…)  The process is simple (an initial cattle call with the producers) and very early( I had to be in line by 5 am.  I only see that type of morning by accident).  Anyway, after waiting for 7 hours, I was told I would not be the next American Idol.  There was the initial pang of disappointment but then I picked up my purse and started to move on (figuratively and literally, it was a cattle call after all).

Being told you’re not good enough should have more of an impact if you really wanted something, right?  Sure, being a part of American Idol would’ve been a dream come true but for some reason I wasn’t all that surprised and therefore not all that disappointed.  I hadn’t really been able to envision myself in Hollywood, meeting Ryan Seacrest and trying to make teenagers and middle-aged moms simultaneously fall in love with me enough to text in votes.  It just sounded like something I needed to do.

(Plus, I may have just set myself up.  I chose to sing “My Funny Valentine.”  It’s a great song but since my valentine this year turned out to be a bust, I may have still had that bad energy around the song…. Just a thought.)

I love music.  Nothing moves me as much as sounds.  Words alone have minimal power.  And while images can be beautiful, nothing can twist or fill my heart as much as a good song.  And I pretty much love it all.  While r&b and jazz are what I listen to the most, I can appreciate a good country, rock or classical song.  I like to mix it up.  Borrow my iPod someday and you’ll understand.  Give me something new to learn about.

However, my love for music never fully translated into loving to be a performer.  I love singing.  I enjoy being on stage and hearing my voice over a PA system.  But that’s never been what I missed.  I’ve missed hearing all of the sounds meld.  I miss performing with a band.  I miss almost getting distracted by the bass line and missing my cues.  I miss forgetting there’s a crowd or audience and vibing with the other people on stage whether it was with a viola in my hand in orchestra, donning a robe in choir or 4 inch heels at a club with a band.

I also love writing.  It’s not necessarily the process that I love because I don’t really have a process.  Some songs start and never get finished while others are completed in two hours.  However, I think it’s cool to hear other people sing what you wrote.  They can styilze it as much as they want but in the end the song is mine, my words.  That’s kind of a cool feeling, I must admit.

And I’m also good.  I know we’re all supposed to be somewhat humble but I’ll accept that amongst other things, singing is a talent I possess, a talent I was given.  Unfortunately, I never felt pushed enough to really hone my skill.  Instead, I relied upon what came naturally and easily.  If I can be good without practicing, who needs to be amazing?  That kind of attitude probably has something to do with not being chosen.  But I don’t care how amazing you are, it’s hard to display that in 5-7 seconds.  I need to warm up.  🙂

Regardless, music is a part of me but being famous may not be in the stars.  And that’s just fine.  Despite having a certain level of talent, I never really had the desire.  Fame is great and I’m not knocking it.  If I had the opportunity, I’m sure I’d jump.  But while it’s not a reality and I can be happy that my career does not depend as heavily on what I can do as what I look like.  Hair, make-up, personal trainers and plastic surgery do not help me do my job.  I think that’s often more important than the talent in music nowadays.  I accept that American Idol is not meant for me.  But at least I tried, I can’t complain if I don’t try, right?

Plus, I refuse to believe I wasn’t good enough.  I just wasn’t what they were looking for.  That has to be closer to the truth.  Haha.

On to the next adventure,

Jo’van

August 14, 2010
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 2 Comments

The World…As I See It: Important People vs. Important Experiences

This song came on Pandora as I was proofreading and I didn’t have any other ideas for the post….

Our life is made up of essentially two things: important people and important experiences.  The distinction may be too subtle to normally distinguish but it’s a concept that I’ve played with for awhile.  As I see it, there are people who mean something to you and memories that mean something to you and they may not always be of equal importance.

Let’s say for instance, you had a school friend growing up who decided for some reason to end the friendship.  The pain, confusion of that one-sided decision may have stuck with you and taught you something.  Maybe it’s that people can be flaky or not every friend is meant to be a best friend.  Or you had a co-worker who routinely threw people under the bus when the pressure was on.  Although you no longer wanted to have a relationship with that person, you learned something from them.  You learned how to cover your ass and be prepared to avoid people like that in the future.  Or an ex who liked you best in a t-shirt, jeans and no make-up.  Maybe from/with him you learned other people could see you as pretty without all of the artificial additions.  A stranger checking you ID at the airport told you you should smile more b/c your smile’s so nice on your license.  (That’s actually happened but in my defense I wasn’t smiling b/c it was 6 in the morning and I was the airport…)

Then we switch to the people. Maybe there was a special teacher who was the first person not blood related to to see your potential and encourage you.  An old friend you grew apart from but had no problem starting up where you left off 10 years later.  An ex who made you realize it is possible to hate someone you love.  A choir director you thought hated you but it was just that they expected more of you.  A boss who knew you were worth more than your paycheck.

The possibilities could be endless and easily intermingled.  Generally important people are a part of our important experiences.  The distinction for me is whether I think more about how I felt and what I learned than what they said and where they are now.  Everyone enters our lives for a reason.  Some are meant to teach us something and disappear into the sea of faces while others are specially designed for us and our needs.  Count your blessings for the important people wherever they may be and however long it’s been since they touched your life.

Jo’van

May 9, 2010
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

Shades of Understanding: Why I Should Really Celebrate Cinco de Mayo

A repost from last year but it still works. 🙂

Yes, I just love this song and Carlos Santana’s Mexican so it works, right?  Rob Thomas’ wife (the lady in the window) is Puerto Rican.  Close enough…

Cinco de Mayo!!!  For many people, May 5th has something to do with a Mexican battle and is a perfect excuse to gorge on chips and salsa, inhale soft shell tacos and drink a lot of (if not too many) Corona’s and Mexican Martinis.  Traditionally for me, Cinco de Mayo celebrations are about finding the most colorful dress you have and preparing to drink to oblivion (or most often in my case watching other people drink to oblivion).  There’s been very little history or real knowledge associated with the date.  But today I learned something new about the holiday.  Who knew Cinco de Mayo had a (near) direct relationship to the emancipation of slavery?

I learned this through a post titled “Market Research: Cinco de Mayo Isn’t Indepence Day” on Advertising Age’s The Big Tent blog.  According to the Fayetville Observer (North Carolina):

“During this time, Confederate General Robert E. Lee was enjoying success, and had the French defeated México at Puebla, France would have aided the South in the American Civil War in order to free Southern ports of the Union Blockade. The Mexicans had won a great victory that kept Napoleon III from supplying the confederate rebels for another year, allowing the United States to build the greatest army the world had ever seen.”

While there’s a lot more to it, the success of the Mexicans over the French aided in the Yankees over the Confederates.  Viva la Mexico!

Toasting her Corona,

Jo’van

May 5, 2010
Categories: Shades of Understanding (Race Relations), The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

The World…As I See It: Differing Interpretations

This song doesn’t exactly fit but I just heard it this week and wanted to share.  Vivian Green’s “Save Me”

When you meet someone and get to know them, whoever they are to you is simply whoever they are.  Your time, experiences, conversations define who and what that person is.  Whether they’re smart, silly, mean, a hard ass or a push over, you know them.  Or at least you know a part of them.  I doubt most people are naïve enough to think they know everything about someone else, but you do grow to consider yourself an expert of sorts.

I recently got to know a new person.   We spent enough time together for me to feel comfortable in my judgment of that person and their character.  Not everything is/was perfect and positive but the negative just helps define the character.  I got to know this person.  Good, bad, indifferent, laughter, arguments, I got to know this person.

Along comes a mutual friend to redefine that person.  They’ve known the new person longer and in different lights.  The things I’d chosen to ignore were BIG deals for the friend.  The issues they’d experienced were foreign to me (although I could usually see it if I really wanted to admit it).   While I trust my friend and take their opinions to heart, how do I reconcile these two interpretations of one person?

Were the things I learned life altering?  No.  Did I just discover this person is a murderer, rapist, chronic cheater, child hater, secret prostitute/gigolo or anything that severe or ridiculous?  No, not at all.  They’re just not the person I believed or wanted to believe they were.  The things I excused hoping they were momentary may turn out to just be genuine character flaws.  So now what?

Nothing really.  Unless the new information is so shocking I lose respect for the person, it’s just new information.  Now, it may make me question the nature and/or intensity of my relationship with this person, but it’s not necessarily a deal breaker.  It could just force new contract negotiations.

Hopefully, new information about any situation just makes you evaluate what you know and how you feel about someone.  And in this case, it’s done just that for me.  This new information validates the unpleasant gut feelings I had but tried to suppress while also forcing me defend things I understood better.  In the end, I am a curious person.  I am analytical AND emotional.  I want as much information as possible to feel my opinions are valid and my reactions are aligned with reality.  Sometimes that level of information can only be gleaned from other people’s perspectives.  No matter how unpleasant or disappointing.

Regaining faith in my gut again,

Jo’van

April 8, 2010
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The World…As I See It: Sometimes I Just Need a Hug

Monica knew what I’m going through.  We just want/need different responses.

Today is just one of those days (or in the words of Monica “one of dem days”).  I feel emotionally and physically drained, stressed about work and my home situation, missing the support system I used to rely so heavily upon but ignore and all I want to do is go to sleep.  It doesn’t help that Eve is here for her monthly visit.  In addition to what I would call normal daily stressors, Eve shortens my attention span, level of patience and ability to react appropriately to small annoyances.  In short, I’m PMSing and it’s not all that fun.

According to WomensHealth.gov, PMS can include a number of physical and emotional issues.  In my case, acne, feeling tired, upset stomach, backache, muscle pain, trouble concentrating or remembering, tension, irritability, mood swings and anxiety or depression.  A.K.A. I’m a mess.  These symptoms start a few days before and generally last throughout.  PMDD is essentially more severe PMS.  If  Iwere to go with the description on the site, I may actually be suffering from that.  But whatever it is, I don’t care for it.

PMS is nothing new.  Most women experience it and most men learn to deal with it.  Everyone’s collection and severity of syptoms are unique but there’s a common trend: We’re not completely ourselves.  Or should I say we’re heightened versions of ourselves.  For whatever reason, I take that personally.  I am angry every month that I’m angry every month.  Rather than be naive enough to ask why or really blame Eve, I am naive enough to believe I can control it.  They are afterall my body, my brain, my emotions.  I’ll excuse myself the physical limitations.  The human body can only take so much.  Debilitating cramps at points worthy of muscle relaxers and codeine are understandable.  Pop a couple Aleve, fire up the heating pad and succumb to the fetal position.  But overly emotional and not completely in control?  Not my cup of tea.

I feel I should be able to maintain my general even keel when things are going on inside my body.  I definitely have bitchy tendencies.  But for the most part, I can control it.  Chemical changes are just changes.  This is my body dammit.  I want to be in control.  But I’m obviously not.  Eve comes and I lose my ability to function gracefully.  Things that aren’t a big deal send me off the deep end, comments that wouldn’t phase me seem like personal insults and I lose the general constraints on my mouth.  Or should I say the response processing delay is completely removed.  There is no filter…with my friends and family.  (For the most part, I can keep it together around those responsible for my paycheck.)

The most distressing symptom, however, is the unhappiness.  I don’t feel depressed but I also don’t care to really do much or be around that many people (according to the commercials those are the symptoms…).  I bounce back to normal as soon it’s over but I can’t imagine I’m easy to deal with during.  I either don’t want to be around you or run the risk of jumping down your throat.  At this time, my ideal day would include spending most of it in bed with good movies, good books, good ice cream, some carb loaded food like pasta or potatoes, snuggling with my puppy and maybe a patient, understanding man.  If he’s around, I need him to stay quiet and hold me.  Sometimes I just need a hug.

As much as I like to be in control and not rely on another person, if I’m comfortable enough to be around you when I’m not completely comfortable with myself, I need you to tread lightly.  My guards go up quickly and may impale you.  I probably don’t mean what I say but I’ll probably say it with a vengeance and not be all that willing to back down soon after.  I understand why people wouldn’t want to be around me these 3-7 days.  It’s easy to pity the physical discomfort.  The emotional rollercoaster, not so much.

If/when you hear me mention Eve, run away or just give me hug.  It won’t fix anything but it sure makes me feel better.  Plus, it’s harder for me to be mean to you if you’re just being sweet.  Sometimes words aren’t enough.  Even bitches need reassurance.

Crawling toward a pillow,

Jo’van

March 4, 2010
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

Eye of the Beholder: “Classy” Tattoos on Women?

Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and SoShy “Morning After Dark” (Thinking of famous women with tattoos is just too easy.  SoShy’s a new artist.)

Is there such a thing as a classy tattoo? I would venture to say no.  Sure, there are artsy, artistic, personal, simple, intricate, etc tattoos.  But can you really call one classy, especially on a woman?  I recently had a conversation with a young lady who tried to use “classy” as a term to describe her tattoo.  For whatever reason, that just seemed comical.

Now, I am a proponent of tattoos.  If you have a design or image that means enough to permanently add to your body, I say go for it.  Obviously, some people go too far and end up more tattoo than skin (think circus freaks and Lil Wayne….), but a couple choice things in choice places?  Sure, why not? I doubt I’ll hate either of my tattoos 30 years from now but anything’s possible.  The tiger on my side/stomach might look pretty silly if I have children or just gain a lot of weight there and the musical symbol on my back will no doubt make picking out evening gowns or wedding dresses an interesting process.  But for now, I’m happy they’re a visible (but not too visible) part of me.

Being a generally conservative person, most people are surprised to learn I have any tattoos.  My ears aren’t even pierced (mom thought I had keloids, long story).  My hair, make-up, clothes, shoes, bags, etc are all generally simple, tasteful (I hope) and classy.  Form-fitting, a-line, black and grey, chic, rounded toes and straight cuts.  While I may never grab and hold many people’s attention, I pass through their subconscious as appearing “nice enough.”  (Looking good and looking interesting are not always the same thing or anywhere near it.)

Being somewhat “traditional”, how do I justify two tattoos with the possibility but not plans for more?  I don’t.  Luckily, I don’t feel the need to.  I made decisions, paid someone to carry them out and clenched my teeth through the pain.  My tattoos don’t affect anyone but me and I like them.  But I also realized they may not always be situation-appropriate.  I chose strategic-enough places.  If I want them to show, they can.  If not, it’s pretty easy to cover them up.  Considering covering them up in the location may seem like a cop-out to some and yes, it is.  Much like other aspects of vanity, I may be happy to have them but not willing to also put them on display. Relate them to a chiseled 6-pack….

But the question still remains if a tattoo can be considered classy.  It’s easy to spot the opposite.  Trashy/douchey tattoos are intriguing.  If you find yourself staring and shaking your head at the same time, it’s probably trashy.  Pin-up girls and names of new lovers are pretty trashy.  Anything on the lower back of a woman is considered a tramp stamp.  (However, longer t-shirts and less extreme low-rise jeans are helping to limit the public sightings.)  Thankfully the armbands, especially barbed wire, seem to be falling out of favor.  They were pretty douchey.  Tattoos in very intimate places are also pretty trashy.  But considering (hopefully) only choice people are going to see them, if you’re willing to go through the pain of a needle on skin that sensitive, go for it.  Just hope if doesn’t scab badly….

But classy?  I just don’t see it.  It’s body art.  If gone to extremes, tattoos can make you look bad.  But they’re not really designed to make you look classier.  The things we do to ourselves to look good and feel somewhat like an individual seem to generally follow this line of thought.  Are holes in your ears classy?  No, not really.  The jewelry you hang from those holes may be but the holes themselves, not so much.  Classy haircuts? Eh, not really.  It largely depends on the total package.  But you can definitely go trashy that way, mullets, side rat tails, bad weave…  Classy eyebrows? Probably not.  But the drawn-on Chola look is pretty trashy.

I’ve realized I only consider attitudes and attire/accessories to be classy.  Since tattoos are permanent, in moderation, they’re just part of the total package.  If you’re not classy, you’re tattoos can’t possibly be.

Wondering where she’d put her third tattoo if….

Jo’van

February 21, 2010
Categories: Eye of the Beholder (Self-Image), The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 1 Comment

The World…As I See It: Seatbelt Withdrawl

A few days ago, I rode without a seatbelt!  Shocking, I know.  It’s not like this was the first time or anything.  It’s just that in this situation I don’t have a choice, no option to forget.  Somehow that lack of option makes it a bigger deal (and thus worthy of a blog post…)

I was offered a ride up to a meeting.  Upon getting into the car, however, I was informed that the passenger seatbelt was jammed.  Why not drive?  I didn’t know where we were going.  Why not climb into the backseat?  2-seater.  No problem.  I’ll suck it up and take a ride on the dangerous side.  (It’s funny – or maybe sad – what constitutes as excitement in my life sometimes.)

Anyway, as I tried to sit comfortably and not focus on the fact that the smallest mistake by the trucker near us could send me flying through the soft-top roof or windshield, I couldn’t help but miss the black, 2-inch wide feeling of security that used to be considered such a nuisance growing up.

“Is everybody buckled up?”  A chorus of yes’s responded, the children silently hoping no one would turn around to expose the lie.  To a child, a seatbelt is an unecessary restriction.  What if you drop your crayon/book/video game?  Or what if your brother’s too far away to poke mercilessly when you’re bored?  See.  Seatbelts are a burden to all those under the age of 14.

As I got older and spent more time in a car behind the wheel than not, seatbelts became less of an issue.  They’re not all the uncomfortable once you’re a certain height or restrictive within a certain weight range.  (Yet another case in which I am happy to be “smaller.”  I don’t have an imposing bosom to raise another unique issue related to seatbelt comfort.)  But as a driver, you have to wear your seatbelt.  The last thing I’d want to deal with is being pulled over b/c I was too lazy to buckle up.  Speeding?  Sure.  Cutting someone off?  Ok.  Broken tail light?  Thanks for letting me know.  But a seat belt?! You’ve got to be kidding me.

So that’s it.  I’ve ridden without a seatbelt.  No accidents, injuries or tickets have resulted.  But just the fact that I have no option to ignore my seatbelt bothered me, made me think I’d bought into the car-safety propaganda.  Just like (although COMPLETELY different from) “No glove, no love”, “Guns don’t kill people”, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”, and “Only YOU can prevent wildfires”, “Click it or Ticket” and the gruesome images that usually accompany the slogan are burned into my brain.

What taglines have (un)fortunately stuck with you?

Jo’van

October 7, 2009
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

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