The World…As I See It: Lent (In the Spirit of the Recession)

I have a problem.  It’s official.  Well, it’s actually been official for quite some time.  I don’t know how to not buy things.  8 summer skirts. What’s another?  But I don’t have that EXACT shade of eye shadow. I really don’t like the other 4 black dresses I already have.  I won’t spend X amount on 1 thing but on 3 or 4 isn’t so bad (even though I don’t need 2 of them). My name is Jo’van and I have a shopping problem.

Today is the beginning of Lent.  While I am not an overly religious person, I grew up in the church and certain things stick with me.  If I didn’t work every day of the week, I would have tried to find a church home here.  But alas, bills are constantly calling and Sunday is a well paying day.  In addition to praying before eating, thanking God for the life I get to enjoy every day and saying bless you when someone sneezes, I work to observe Lent. (Yes, there are other much more important things that I could be doing but I’m just being honest.)

Lent is a limited New Year’s resolution for Christians.  You only have to give up something for a month and half and you get to pick.  Now, it should be something you abuse, a vice of sorts but you can pick whatever you want. Know you should stop drinking 4 Diet Cokes a day?  Okay, wait until Lent, try it, cheat, and pray for forgiveness.  Need to exercise more often?  Try if for 40 days and give up.  Have a shopping problem like me?  Hide that credit card for a little more than a billing period.  In the spirit of the recession, I’m giving up creating more unecessary debt (or limiting paying off my existing debt).

Last year, I gave up buying music.  It was very difficult.  (I kind of cheated but it’s not my fault.  Ok, it was.  I went to a concert and loved this opening band I’d never heard of, Mute Math.  I simply suggested that my roommate, who agreed they were good, buy their CD.  If she decided she no longer wanted it – after uploading it to iTunes -, I would buy it from her after Lent 🙂 ).  This year, I’ve decided to give up shopping altogether.  Aside from groceries and toiletries, I don’t NEED anything else.  I’d LOVE new shoes, pants, socks, lipgloss whatever.  But I can survive without them.  In fact, I can more than survive.  I can look good without them.

It’s time to reevaluate my closest.  What haven’t I worn in a while?  What have I NEVER worn? It’s really sad how much I have and don’t need.  Every few months I take bags to Buffalo Exchange and Goodwill.  But it never amazes me how the bags seem to refill.  Where do these shoes, purses, dresses, pants and anything else come from? Oh yes, Ross, Penney’s, Kohls, Theory, New York and Co.  Again, I have a problem.

Giving up shopping for Lent is not going to fix anything but it should help.  But maybe I can make it a habit.

Shopping in her closet,

Jo’van

February 25, 2009
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

The World…As I See It: Double-Standards for Chris Brown

Let me start by saying that I do not condone any form of assault, men on women, women on men, same sex, black on black, adults on children, whatever.  With that said, I must also say that I think it’s interesting how quickly and severely “the world” has turned against Chris Brown.

While I believe he deserves whatever he gets IF the allegations are true, I must wonder (out loud) what makes Chris Brown’s case any different than the handful of celebrity assault cases brought to media attention every year.  (Since the majority are men against women, I’ll continue discussing it that way.  However, I do realize women can be just as abusive.)

Did Rihanna suffer any more than the spouses of Stone Cold Steve Austin or Jason Kidd or Scott Weiland or even James Brown? No. Hmmm, I wonder.  While these celebrities may have had some bad press, this case – less than a week old – hasn’t even been completely worked out but Chris Brown is already being punished more than any of these guys. Again, IF he did it, he deserves it.  But why didn’t any of the other celebrities in the past?

It must be because their wives/girlfriends were not ALSO celebrities.  Chris Brown is in special trouble because people know and love Rihanna.  No one should ever raise their hand to a woman but to even raise your voice at Princess Ri Ri is obviously a much larger offense.

I don’t want to sound unsympathetic.  I hope she is able to heal, never questions her self-worth, never believes she deserved it and moves on to a more deserving man. But I still keep going back to Chris.  I’m not sorry for anything he’s going through.  I just wish everyone else, especially celebrities, would be held to the same standards.  Get dropped immediately from your endorsements, appearances and the radio.

I hope everyone concerned can tend to their needs and move on.  Let us all just remember this the next time an NBA player beats his playboy model girlfriend.  I feel bad for Rihanna but this case makes me feel worse for the ignored beaten wives and girlfriends of other celebrities and regular people.  Chris should be held accountable and Rihanna should be able to heal.  But we must remember she’s no more important than the women scared for their lives in your local shelter.  They deserve our same level of support and their assailants deserve our same level of outrage.

Shaking her head,

Jo’van

February 12, 2009
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 1 Comment

Shades of Understanding: 8 of Top 10 Most Influential Celebrities are African-American

An interesting study was announced this week.  According to the Davie Brown Index, 8 of the top 10 “marketable” celebrities are African-American. Surprisingly, only numbers 2 and 6 are Caucasian.  President Obama usurped Tom Hanks this year.  In descending order:

  1. Barack Obama
  2. Tom Hanks
  3. Will Smith
  4. Michael Jordan
  5. Morgan Freeman (I LOVE him! 🙂 )
  6. George Clooney
  7. Denzel Washington
  8. Michelle Obama
  9. Oprah Winfrey
  10. Tiger Woods

In this case, marketable doesn’t mean the best product-hawking endorsement but “a celebrity’s ability to influence brand affinity and consumer intent.”  Basically, the study is about celebrities people trust.  Who do you want to listen to?  Whose shampoo would you use? Whose blood pressure medication would you talk to your doctor about?

The DBI is a tool for agencies and companies to know which celebrities would best fit their product communication goals. “The DBI includes more than 1,500 celebrities that are each evaluated by 1,000 consumers. These evaluations are the results of a panel made up of 4.5 million consumers.”  Respondents who are aware of a certain celebrity are then asked a standard set of questions about that celebrity. Using a six-point scale, eight key attributes are evaluated, including appeal, notice, trendsetter, influence, trust, endorsement, breakthough and aspiration.

President Obama ranked 1st in four categories (trust, influence, trendsetter, breakthrough) and 2nd to Bill Gates in one category (aspirational).  He finsihed 5th in [product] endorsement.

I think it’s interesting that African-Americans rank so highly in this “celebrity respect” study.  While I completely understand the selection of these individuals, the percentage just seems odd.  White, black, brown or the other, who do you think is missing from this list?

Strangely proud,

Jo’van

February 5, 2009
Categories: Shades of Understanding (Race Relations), The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

The World…As I See It: My Car is Missing!!!

I had the biggest “blond moment” of my life today.  And considering my hair’s basically black with mahogany highlights, that’s quite a feat.  I am SO embarrassed.

I am a typically anal (or meticulous) person.  Everything has its own little place and exact path to get there.  I am the one who deals with the planning of whatever situation.  The one with the mom purse equip with nail clippers, oil sheets, floss, tweezers, eye drops, allergy medicine…basically Walgreens.  The one with a full change of clothes (including tennis shoes) in the trunk of her car, just in case I get stuck somewhere and really want clean underwear.  The one who manually updates every album in her (large) iTunes library because she didn’t like some of the formatting.  The one who cleans and separates the lettuce leafs so they’ll be easier to grab for a sandwich next week.  The one that can tell you down to the hour when she was out of the office and how to code that time.  For some reason, my brain is just wired that way.  Apparently, within a four day span, that wiring got disconnected.

Because of a great ticket price, I took a 4-day weekend trip home last weekend.  It was good to see the family and a couple of friends.  However, the best part had to be not having to really think about much.  I just kind of floated across Nashville for a few days in my mom’s green minivan.  (I love the van by the way.)  The paths to my grandmothers’ houses and Opry Mills mall are hardwired into my head.  My biggest concern is trying to find my old radio stations.  (Luckily, my mother doesn’t mess with her pre-set stations too much.)

My roommate picked me up from the airport last night and I unpacked my stuff, petted the puppies and went to bed.  This morning, I woke up, got ready for work and rushed out the door.  (I was going to be 5-10 minutes late to an 8:30 meeting.)  I walked down the parking lot, happy it wasn’t raining.  (Our parking lot is very crowded and it’s often difficult to find a spot close to your apartment and/or not under a tree.  We also have a pigeon-poo problem.)  As I approached the spot I remembered parking my car, I got a little concerned.  The spot was empty.  Hmmm, maybe it was in front of the next building.  No? Okay, maybe I’m just losing it.  Let’s press the lock button to hear my car.  NOTHING!  Seriously?  Now what?  I know I didn’t park this far but I’ll check. SHIT.  WHERE’S MY CAR?!

Back in the apartment, upset but surprisingly calm for some reason.  (That should have been my first hint.  My subconscious must’ve known something.  But I just assumed I was in shock.)  Wake up the roommate.  “I think they towed my car or someone stole it.”  She jumps up and I turn on my computer.  I don’t know my new boss’s work or cell phone number and I’m obviously going to miss the meeting.  As I’m sending the email, my roommate goes to the front office.

Nope, while they were rude, they didn’t tow it.  Okay, I guess it’s time to call the police.  What’s the number? 911 seems a bit hysterical.  My car wasn’t stolen with my baby in it or anything.  (Just a gym bag)  Yellow pages.  Speak with a dispatcher.  The police will be there soon.  15 minutes impressive (or scary.  I don’t really know what a speedy response time says for your area.)  Two police officers come to our door and we have to crate the dogs.  So protective and LOUD.

Officer H is young and nervous/unprepared.  While a few of his questions got on my nerves (No, my car was not impounded by the finance company.  No, I haven’t defaulted on any payments.  Yes, I’m sure.  Would you like to see my monthly statements.  — Remember, I am anal.), he was nice and I was patient and kind.  No need to get him in trouble.  Officer J was very cool.  Although he was a bit rough (understandably so) on Officer H, he chatted it up with my roommate and I about dogs, catching a bank robber while buying dog food and what-have-you.

My phone rings and I hand it off to my roommate.  She begins speaking Spanish and disappears into my room.  Ah, it must be Chivis.  Mary comes back around the corner and calls me into my room.  What?!  Really?! NOW,with them here?! Okay.  Umm, Tiffany, I think your car is in the garage…. Are you SERIOUS?  Are you sure?  Could you check?  Call me back! Thanks.  Mary’s laughing at me.  And the police are standing in our living room.

And then it all comes back to me….

The night before I left for home, I went out with friends and coworkers to celebrate J Lo’s birthday.  (Not that one but better.)  I had a few drinks but not THAT many.  Chivis was parked closer to the bar than I was and since she was taking me to the airport the next morning, we just decided to leave my car in the office garage.  Plus, it’s probably safer there than in my apartment complex parking lot….

Okay, it’s definitely a possibility but now what do I do?  If I tell them, they’ll leave.  Then what do I do if it’s not there?  Call them back?  No, continue until you’re sure.  That’s the best idea.  However, by the time Chivis calls me back, it’s too late.  Despite my best efforts to stall and rush, I’ve had to complete the entire process.  Poor Officer H is being chewed out and we’re laughing as soon as we close the door.  What the HELL do I do NOW?!

Mary takes me to the office.  Yep, I’ve seen it with my own eyes.  My car is happily, safely sitting in the office garage.  The parking I remembered doing in my complex lot was when I first made it home Friday night.  I didn’t remember the second time because it never happened.  Dear Lord, what was in my drinks?  Did I have 8 more than I remembered?

After Chivis and Mary have made fun of me, I called to report my idiocy.  Of course, I can’t just cancel a police report.  Another officer has to talk to me.  Officer B arrives shortly.  He essentially laughs at me and tells me it happens all of the time downtown.  Basically labeling me a drunk.  Great!  He’ll take care of it.  All is well.  Whew.

Not quite, Officer J calls me to double-check he’d heard right.  After apologizing profusely for wasting his time and our Austin police resources, I get a mini lecture but feel better about the situation.

Then Officer J calls me back.  I don’t quite remember asking what the point was but when I asked if there was anything else I needed to do, papers to sign, fee to pay, he told me that Officer H was considering charging me for reporting a false police report, a class b misdemeanor.  WHAT?!  He felt I had made the report to make fun of him, as if I knew him.  Basically, his feelings were hurt for getting in trouble for being unprepared.  And while I understand that, none of that was my fault.  I did not make fun of him.  I did not ask him the question Officer J wanted me to ask to test him. I was sympathetic and did not make a big deal of him not knowing what he was doing.  Yes, I did laugh after they left at MYSELF.  Yes, I did file a false report because I am an idiot.  There was no malicious intent.  Officer J says he’ll talk to Officer H but he can’t TELL him what to do, only advise.  I thank Officer J and hang up.  I should still be embarrassed or scared but now I’m just annoyed.

On to the google search for Class B Misdemeanor charges in Austin. (It’s amazing that blogs dominate the first pages in the gooogle search.  I want REAL information, not a blog.  This IS a legal matter after all.)  From what I can gather (in a quick search), a charge of this kind can result in up to a $2,000 fine, up to 180 days in jail, or better yet both.  This is the same charge you’d get for your first DWI.  It looks like I should have just driven home that night.  (I’m not condoning drunk driving. And while I don’t believe I was drunk that evening, I’m just making a point.  Even if alchol had been a factor, I’d been sober for 4 days.  No Corona is THAT strong.)

That’s it.  I’ve heard nothing else from Officer J.  I’m going to believe it’s over.  I’ll update if I end up getting pulled over driving the car I mistakenly reported stolen.

I think the worst part of it all is that this is simply something I would not have done.  Several friends have said this just isn’t me.  Or at least it wasn’t.  What’s next?

Still a bright red (only you can’t see it because I’m actually a milk chocolate brown),

Jo’van

January 21, 2009
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 1 Comment

The World…As I See It: Layoffs

Layoffs are officially scary.  They’ve hit my second home(s) and it’s painful.

I’m pretty young and ignorant to things such as “financial downturns”, “recessions” and “depressions”.  For me, the worst a bursting bubble could do would be to get in your hair.  I don’t own stocks, bonds, a house, or my car (yet).  I haven’t started my 401K.  My debt is ridiculous.  My savings account is always closer to zero than not because I can’t afford to save.   But I never really worried.  As long as I was doing my job well, keeping my clients happy and not pissing off upper management (too much), I should be able to avoid getting fired.  And anyway, fired you (probably) see coming.  Fired you might be able to prepare for.  Fired you can start shopping around to beat them to the punch.  But a “downsizing” is an entirely different story.

When someone up above says shave some of your costs, a company can only cut back on happy hours, Friday breakfast tacos and the multitude of interns so much.  At some point, staff numbers have to come under the microscope.  Then what?  How do you decide who goes?  I thankfully have not been in that position so I can’t presume to really know but I can just imagine it’s difficult.  Not only are you possibly ending someones career but you’re admitting your company’s not doing as well as you’d like everyone to believe.

In this current economic climate, every company (it seems) is experiencing “staff restructuring” but that doesn’t make the people directly affected by it feel any better.  Just because you’re not the only one doesn’t mean you’re not still wondering but why me?  Or in my case, if it’s someone you respect and care for “why them?”

A friend of mine was very recently let go.   Rather than be bitter, angry, or depressed, he’s unbelievably positive.  While I’m sure it hurt him and shakes up any plans in the making, he seems to be treating this as just another bump in the road.  With the level of graciousness I don’t even think I could muster up after a fender bender, he managed to make three of us laugh and feel better about his situation.  Some people deserve way more respect than they’ll probably ever receive.  (I love you, Roberto.  And your man boobs. 🙂 )

In the end, I guess the questions don’t really matter but too many unaswered may begin to outweigh any positive or even understandable answers.  This is a scary time.  Between my two jobs, I’ve survived three rounds of  “thank you buts” so far.  But if my name comes to the top of the list next time, I don’t really have a plan in mind.  There is no money set aside to survive.  Hmmm….I guess that’s a problem.

Looking for things she can sell for emergency rent,

Jo’van

January 12, 2009
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 1 Comment

The World….As I See It: Why I Can BARELY Stand Beyonce

Beyonce Knowles – singer, songwriter, virgining actress, fashion icon and mogul, cosmetics spokeswoman, what else?  The former Destiny’s Child front-woman is everywhere…. And I can’t stand it or her.

Singer

Unlike most popular, modern “artists”, level of talent is not my issue with her.  I think Beyonce is a talented singer.  Although, I don’t always care for her over-use of vibrato and numerous runs, I’ve got to give it to her.  She knows how to manipulate her voice and image to sell you a song.  Unlike Jessica Simpson who has a good voice but has no idea how to effectively/properly use it.)  While I am a lover of ballads, Beyonce also knows how to make danceable radio hits.

Performer

The energy she puts into her music is delivered 10-fold in her performances.  Thankfully, Beyonce is know to actually sing live, heaven forbid.  She can shake it in high-briefed underwear and stilettos but still manages to sing most of her song live.  (Everyone’s back-up singers carry a live performance nowadays anyway.)  Even if you feel your ears will bleed if you have to hear her current hit on the radio or VH1 one more time, you still want to see her perform it on the upcoming award show because she’ll undoubtedly be there and put on a good show.  (Unlike Britney, there’s no prediction or hope of a train wreck.)

Image/Fashion

Beyonce was introduced to us all as the pretty, going blond, half-naked front-woman of Destiny’s Child.  While it made me sad that she was the only one that sang (look back at En Vogue, four beautiful and talented lead and backup singers), I was saddened more by their outfits.  The brightly colored oversexed images of the late 90s/early 2000s just get a little old for me.  I understand the purpose but Destiny’s Child was actually talented.  Breasts, abs and thighs don’t make a good song but they do seem to help sell records, if not sell them completely.  It was more strange to me that her mother was the one designing for and dressing this group of teenage girls like THAT.  Obviously her parents were more comfortable with her college-age sexuality than mine would’ve been.

Over the years, Beyonce has managed to stay sexy and exposed but somehow class it up just a bit every year.  I’m not saying that every outfit is classy but as a whole (even if I don’t care for the outfit). she looks good.  I’m no longer ashamed to look at her.  I’m more intrigued.

Blond

My only withstanding issue with her image is the blond.  She’s a beautiful brunette.  The blond is unnecessary.  Unless albino or contingent upon another natural genetic condition, black people are not supposed to be blond.  Embrace your natural tones.  Love them.  (For some reason, Queen Latifah is the ONLY black person I don’t get mad at for going blond.  I LOVE her.  She can do no wrong.  And I’ve just given up on Tyra altogether.)

Acting

Honestly, I’ve only seen “eh” from her.  She hasn’t done that bad of a job but I haven’t seen a lot of depth in her characters.  It’s easy to act like a diva.  Vulnerability and layers are different.  She’s not quite a box office draw or distraction for me.

I respect Beyonce and wish her the best.  The girl works her ass off.  I just think she’s over-exposed which is more our fault than hers.  She seems like a cool person and manages to keep her private life private.  But I need her to disappear for a while.  Make us miss you.  I’m only contributing to my main complaint with a blog post dedicated to her.

As talented as she is, I’m going to have to disagree with Kanye.  Beyonce is great but she’ll need another 20-30 years of longevity before we can compare her to Tina Turner.  We all thought Britney was the new Madonna and look at that tragic assumption.

Searching my iPod for “No, No, No”,

Jo’van

December 10, 2008
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

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