Shades of Understanding: John Mayer’s White Supremacist Dick

He’s douche-baggiest single to date….

John Mayer has been in the news lately.  Instead of dating another tabloid-worthy Hollywood blonde, he’s speaking with PlayBoy and performing an ill-advised brain dump.  Now, I’m a John Mayer fan.  I know that he comes off as, and probably is, a royal douche bag.  But what can I say?  I like his music.  Much like Robin Thicke, he’s a guilty pleasure I feel no need to defend.  I’ll just politely change the music if someone doesn’t care to listen to him whine in my car.

Unfortunately, John Mayer is one of the many recent celebrities who believe and, more importantly, who reporters and fans believe should be heard.  Everyone has an opinion, famous or not.  With the ever-expanding array of access points to celebrities, we learn more than we may need to about our favorite pop stars, rappers, actors and athletes.  Some know how to just be good at what they do without sharing the details of their personal lives (for example Beyonce).  While others attempt to revive dead careers by allowing us access to EVERYTHING (for example Bret Michaels).  Either way, as the fans/consumers, we have to decide just how much we care.  John Mayer’s latest interview reminds me why it’s best to just appreciate the music.  I don’t need to necessarily appreciate the person.

The only reason I paid any attention to this interview was all of the drama following it.  Aside from sharing unsavory details about his obsessions with porn and masturbating, interesting comments about exes and unnecessarily using the N-word to justify a hood pass, John Mayer is apparently not interested in sleeping with black women.  Shocking, I know!  But who cares?   As a black woman, I’m not all that interested in sleeping with him either.  My heart’s not broken.

PlayBoy: Do black women throw themselves at you? 

Mayer: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

I’m not trying to downplay the possible connotations.  Maybe John is a racist.  Maybe he considers his overworked dick too good for a little chocolate.  While eliminating the possibility of a fruitful relationship with a “sista” is unfortunate, it’s not innately wrong.  As long as John sees no problem with other people doing it, he’s completely entitled to his preferences.  If I were to say I prefer black men over white, does that make me a racist or just aware of my preferences?  Somehow I feel Usher wouldn’t be shunned for saying he prefers to date black women…

When probed by the reporter, John admits that he has found some black women attractive.

Mayer: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

Funny.  I don’t know if that statement is more offensive to black women or white women.  I wonder how he thinks a black woman breaks your heart.  And are all white women manipulative bitches?  Oh John, it may not be that chocolate’s your problem.  You just might like people as immature as you are.

When this interview came out and all of the SHOCKED responses started, I thought there had to be more to this story.  I don’t regularly read PlayBoy articles so I had to look it up.  After reading the entire article, I was more bored and annoyed than offended or outraged.  I understand why these shocked responses about racial comments came out.  Aside from describing a generally goodie two-shoes ex as being sexual napalm, there really wasn’t anything else all that interesting to mention.  John Mayer seems like an intelligent person who attempts to balance sounding important and indifferent.  Somehow he generally manages to just sound like a douche.

What I found more interesting was his description of “being black.”  As a black person, I don’t know if I can describe being black.  Sure, I could spout out historical facts and statistics, but I really feel it’s about experiences related to those facts and stats.  Thank goodness John Mayer could explain it to me.

Mayer: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

I’m happy you realize your struggles aren’t necessarily equivalent to ours, John.  Very happy.  Now tell me about being Latino or Asian…

Let me state for the record, “I don’t understand why any man would not be attracted to black women.”  We come in all shapes and sizes, features and attributes.  It’s a pity any man would deny himself the love a good black woman but if that’s what he so chooses to do, the fault is on him.  There are plenty of men, black, white and other, who can appreciate our beauty.  Why should we care about John Mayer’s lose?

(Plus, he’s just young and naive.  Everyone knows black women age exceptionally well.  For the most part, our skin stays taut.  Fewer wrinkles, fewer apparent birthdays.  Black don’t crack, baby.  AND we don’t have to tan.  This beautiful bronzed look is year-round, free and natural.  🙂 )

Not feeliing slighted by John Mayer in the least,

Jo’van

The World…As I See It: Double-Standards for Chris Brown

Let me start by saying that I do not condone any form of assault, men on women, women on men, same sex, black on black, adults on children, whatever.  With that said, I must also say that I think it’s interesting how quickly and severely “the world” has turned against Chris Brown.

While I believe he deserves whatever he gets IF the allegations are true, I must wonder (out loud) what makes Chris Brown’s case any different than the handful of celebrity assault cases brought to media attention every year.  (Since the majority are men against women, I’ll continue discussing it that way.  However, I do realize women can be just as abusive.)

Did Rihanna suffer any more than the spouses of Stone Cold Steve Austin or Jason Kidd or Scott Weiland or even James Brown? No. Hmmm, I wonder.  While these celebrities may have had some bad press, this case – less than a week old – hasn’t even been completely worked out but Chris Brown is already being punished more than any of these guys. Again, IF he did it, he deserves it.  But why didn’t any of the other celebrities in the past?

It must be because their wives/girlfriends were not ALSO celebrities.  Chris Brown is in special trouble because people know and love Rihanna.  No one should ever raise their hand to a woman but to even raise your voice at Princess Ri Ri is obviously a much larger offense.

I don’t want to sound unsympathetic.  I hope she is able to heal, never questions her self-worth, never believes she deserved it and moves on to a more deserving man. But I still keep going back to Chris.  I’m not sorry for anything he’s going through.  I just wish everyone else, especially celebrities, would be held to the same standards.  Get dropped immediately from your endorsements, appearances and the radio.

I hope everyone concerned can tend to their needs and move on.  Let us all just remember this the next time an NBA player beats his playboy model girlfriend.  I feel bad for Rihanna but this case makes me feel worse for the ignored beaten wives and girlfriends of other celebrities and regular people.  Chris should be held accountable and Rihanna should be able to heal.  But we must remember she’s no more important than the women scared for their lives in your local shelter.  They deserve our same level of support and their assailants deserve our same level of outrage.

Shaking her head,

Jo’van

The World….As I See It: Why I Can BARELY Stand Beyonce

Beyonce Knowles – singer, songwriter, virgining actress, fashion icon and mogul, cosmetics spokeswoman, what else?  The former Destiny’s Child front-woman is everywhere…. And I can’t stand it or her.

Singer

Unlike most popular, modern “artists”, level of talent is not my issue with her.  I think Beyonce is a talented singer.  Although, I don’t always care for her over-use of vibrato and numerous runs, I’ve got to give it to her.  She knows how to manipulate her voice and image to sell you a song.  Unlike Jessica Simpson who has a good voice but has no idea how to effectively/properly use it.)  While I am a lover of ballads, Beyonce also knows how to make danceable radio hits.

Performer

The energy she puts into her music is delivered 10-fold in her performances.  Thankfully, Beyonce is know to actually sing live, heaven forbid.  She can shake it in high-briefed underwear and stilettos but still manages to sing most of her song live.  (Everyone’s back-up singers carry a live performance nowadays anyway.)  Even if you feel your ears will bleed if you have to hear her current hit on the radio or VH1 one more time, you still want to see her perform it on the upcoming award show because she’ll undoubtedly be there and put on a good show.  (Unlike Britney, there’s no prediction or hope of a train wreck.)

Image/Fashion

Beyonce was introduced to us all as the pretty, going blond, half-naked front-woman of Destiny’s Child.  While it made me sad that she was the only one that sang (look back at En Vogue, four beautiful and talented lead and backup singers), I was saddened more by their outfits.  The brightly colored oversexed images of the late 90s/early 2000s just get a little old for me.  I understand the purpose but Destiny’s Child was actually talented.  Breasts, abs and thighs don’t make a good song but they do seem to help sell records, if not sell them completely.  It was more strange to me that her mother was the one designing for and dressing this group of teenage girls like THAT.  Obviously her parents were more comfortable with her college-age sexuality than mine would’ve been.

Over the years, Beyonce has managed to stay sexy and exposed but somehow class it up just a bit every year.  I’m not saying that every outfit is classy but as a whole (even if I don’t care for the outfit). she looks good.  I’m no longer ashamed to look at her.  I’m more intrigued.

Blond

My only withstanding issue with her image is the blond.  She’s a beautiful brunette.  The blond is unnecessary.  Unless albino or contingent upon another natural genetic condition, black people are not supposed to be blond.  Embrace your natural tones.  Love them.  (For some reason, Queen Latifah is the ONLY black person I don’t get mad at for going blond.  I LOVE her.  She can do no wrong.  And I’ve just given up on Tyra altogether.)

Acting

Honestly, I’ve only seen “eh” from her.  She hasn’t done that bad of a job but I haven’t seen a lot of depth in her characters.  It’s easy to act like a diva.  Vulnerability and layers are different.  She’s not quite a box office draw or distraction for me.

I respect Beyonce and wish her the best.  The girl works her ass off.  I just think she’s over-exposed which is more our fault than hers.  She seems like a cool person and manages to keep her private life private.  But I need her to disappear for a while.  Make us miss you.  I’m only contributing to my main complaint with a blog post dedicated to her.

As talented as she is, I’m going to have to disagree with Kanye.  Beyonce is great but she’ll need another 20-30 years of longevity before we can compare her to Tina Turner.  We all thought Britney was the new Madonna and look at that tragic assumption.

Searching my iPod for “No, No, No”,

Jo’van

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