Eye of the Beholder: Curse of the Pretty Friends

Note: This post is not an open invitation or a vain attempt to get people I know to argue with me about how cute or not cute I may be.  It’s simply a place to vent.  Beautiful people suck sometimes.  And the sad part, it usually has nothing to do with them.  It’s all about the attention they receive.  Positive attention is nice and if you’re not receiving it, you either wonder if it’s because of you or “them”.  It’s always easier to blame them.  🙂

What do you do when you know your friend is cuter than you?  And I don’t mean “oh, they have beautiful hair but you have clear skin.”  I mean when you know you’re the ugly friend (in comparison).  What’s supposed to go through your mind when you go out and you’ve accepted you’ll only get the attention after your friend passes on that guy’s advances?  When every group picture makes you want to seek out an uglier friend to go out with?

Ok, so maybe it’s not that extreme but I’ve always had beautiful friends.  Now I’ve had and currently have some ladies friends that may be on the other side of the spectrum but for the most part, the ladies I spend most of my time with are quite attractive.  As I’ve said before, I consider myself to be pleasantly average with the occasional hot moment.  How do you compete with naturally gorgeous?  I need my hair in its place, my makeup on point and the right outfit to pull it off.  Should I even be worried about competing?

Considering male attraction, should it even be an issue?  The guys that look at my friends are obviously not interested in me.  Should I be jealous?  Or should I just accept that I don’t fit their physical type?  Would it even matter if it happened to be one of my hot nights?  Shouldn’t I be worried about guys I can talk to, laugh with?

Well of course.  But who thinks that when they’re out at night and not being approached the same way a friend is?  Or when it’s obvious you’ve been set up with the short, fat decoy so the two attractive people can flirt?  Yes, it’s frustrating but it happens.  What can you do?  I actually like the people my beautiful friends are.  I’ll just have to accept their physical assets and bask in their glory whenever possible.  Maybe some of it will rub off.  But if it doesn’t, I’ve accepted my role as the smart ass friend.  I don’t imagine that quality fading with time or being affected by gravity.

Flipping through girls’ night photos,

Jo’van

Romantic Cynic: Up to Your Physical Standard

Everyone wants to be with someone they’re attracted to.  Thankfully, we all have different “types” making it easier for us all not to fight over the Brad Pitts and Halle Berrys.  Some people like the Carson Dalys and Roseannes.  Regardless of what your type is, you want to think the person you’re attracted to is cute, up to your physical standard.  But then you wonder just how cute you are.  Are you a movie star (after the airbrushing), an average person or a hobbit?  Are you up to your own physical standard?

When it comes to attraction, we’re all faced with three situations.  Which one would you prefer?

1.) You’re cuter than your partner.  What do you do if you know you’re more attractive than your significant other? Does it boost your confidence or make you worry they’re only with you for your looks?  Is the connection strong enough for you not to desire a cuter boy/girlfriend?

2.) You’re partner’s cuter than you are.  Everyone wants to be with someone gorgeous (by their terms) but how does that make you feel when you look at photos of you two?  Are you proud of what you’ve been able to snag? Or are you wondering when they’ll stop playing around with you and move on to an equally beautiful person?

3.) You’re equally attractive.  This is a difficult balance to reach.  We see this most often at the extremes.  Either you are a Ken and Barbie couple or you both look like someone beat you with the couple’s ugly stick.  With “average” looking couples, there’s bound to be one person that’s more attractive than the other.  It just depends on whether you’re considering faces or body types.

So where do you typically fall?  Are you just a beautiful person who can’t seem to find anyone as attractive as them?  Or an ugly person vainly striving to catch that one beautiful person to give your children hope?

I’d like to believe that I am pleasantly average.  There’s nothing too offensive about my appearance.  While there are things that could be better (small bosom and magically disappearing top lip) but there are also things that could be far worse (suffering from noassatall or having fat feet).

I’ve recently considered how I would feel about dating someone I knew was much more attractive than I was.  While I’d like to believe I’d embrace this as an opportunity to bask in beauty’s glow at every possible chance, I don’t know if my ego could really take that.  Would I be able to overcome my insecurities and accept that person could think I’m also beautiful and like me for me?  Probably not right now in my self-evolution.  I’m not that comfortable with myself yet.  Instead, I think I would assume they were just passing time with me until a barbie walked by.  If their face is mesmerizing, shouldn’t their partners be?  If they have the sculpted body, shouldn’t their partner?  Wouldn’t you want to believe you contributed to the cuteness of a couple’s picture?

If the person I’m dating is more than attractive than I am, I think we ‘ll both need to be closer to average than either extreme.

In search of her above-average beau,

Jo’van

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