The World…As I See It: Loyalty Issues

Missy Elliott’s “Work It”

http://youtu.be/UODX_pYpVxk

For anyone who’s ever been to a black beautician, time is not on your side.  You perfect the fine art of waiting.  Waiting your turn (appointments are just a guideline).  Waiting for your relaxer, color, roller set, etc.  Waiting under the dryer.  Waiting once the dryer shuts off.  Waiting to be “finished” is the chair.  A basic relaxer for not-quite-shoulder-length-hair can take anywhere from 2 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours.  Since I only have to go every two months, I guess it’s not so bad.

And let’s not even talk about the costs.  Just refer to Chris Rock’s amazing documentary on black women and their hair “Good Hair“.

While most people (women in particular) are sensitive about their hair and who they all touch it.  I would venture to say it’s even more of an issue for black women.  I can’t just walk into the neighborhood Sharp Cuts or the most expensive salon in town.  Not everyone knows how to do black – or more politically correct “ethnic” – hair.  My “perm” is actually a “relaxer”, bleach should NEVER touch my hair, there’s no such thing as a “quick dry”, a bad cut doesn’t last for a few months, more like years (if not decades), and more and more.  Let’s just say it’s more different than not.

With the wait times, costs and difficulty to find trained hairdressers, why further inconvenience yourself when it comes to getting your hair done?

When I moved to Austin, I knew it would not be a “Chocolate City”.  Like with most things (including attending Iowa State and studying abroad in Italy), I adjusted.  People are just people but beauticians are not just beauticians.  I needed a black beautician or at least someone very familiar with “my people’s hair”.

Google and Yelp were of no help.  Eventually, I found a lady who could do the job but it didn’t seem very well.  There was no confidence.  I was coming off of 4+ years with piece-meal care and sporadic salon visits.  I needed someone to help/teach me more than I needed a perm every 8 weeks.

Six months into my Austin experience, our office manager with the most gorgeous, thick, curly long hair became my hair savior and sent me to her hair dresser.  [Cue heavenly chimes]  Teena is awesome, a young expert interested in always learning more.  Easy to talk to, relate to and trust.  Since my first/virgin relaxer 15 years ago (whew, that’s a long time ago), my hair has never been healthier.  While I recognize a lot of that is due to my maturity in caring for my hair and ability to go whenever necessary.  I also credit much of that “hair health” to Teena’s capable hands.

So where do loyalty issues come into play?

Well…her salon is so far away…

When I first started visiting Teena, here salon was 20 miles from my office but only a few miles from my home.  Over the last few years, I have consistently moved further and further away.  She’s now 20 miles from my office and 25 miles from my home.  Understanding the appointment times, distance and traffic, there are simply no convenient times to go.  Every two months, I’m dedicating up to 6 hours just to get a relaxer, i.e. chemically straighten whatever has grown in since the last time, typically 1/2 – 3/4 inch worth.

How do I make this easier?  Easy – Find a closer beautician.  My mom was really good at this.  She hates driving, waiting and paying.  Every 6-9 months (it seemed), she’d find a new faster/cheaper/closer hairdresser.  While there’s nothing wrong with “moving on”, I’m partial to consistency.  However, every time I move further away, I struggle with my mother’s “choose convenience over loyalty” motto.

This latest move unfortunately coincided with Teena’s maternity leave.  My hair was in desperate need of professional attention and she was busy  attending to a new baby.  How selfish… [Sigh]  After an internal struggle trumped by external vanity, I tried a new person two miles from my apartment.

While I felt a little guilty, I decided to try it.  It was a small, well-kept salon and the beautician pleasant and open.  The shop is owned by her sister, another beautician.  The appointment went well and all was gravy…until she made me feel guilty unintentionally.

As part of standard new client inquiries, she asked about why I’d come to her.  I explained that my current/old beautician’s shop was too far away.  “Oh okay”  A few minutes later, she told me about her clients who had driven close to 100 miles to her shop.  (Strangely enough from a very large city to a tiny one.)

While that trip is extreme (and probably only taken by one person a few times), this woman, a stranger, is telling me about her client willing to make that trip.  Yes, that’s crazy.  But this lady obviously appreciates this client’s loyalty and trust.  So what’s every 8 weeks to continue with someone I trust and believe appreciates it?

While I’m thankful to have a more convenient back-up, I’ll head back to Teena when it’s time for another service.  I curse my loyalty issues during the 4-5 hours but praise them 4 weeks later when someone tells me how good my hair looks or Teena comments on how much it’s grown since we started together.

Results over process, right?

Jo’van

Office Appropriate: Loyal or Lazy?

All-American Rejects “Move Along”

As of about 10:30 am tomorrow morning, I will have been unemployed for two weeks.  I know that that is not monumental in the grand scheme of things and that countless people have been unemployed much longer and with worse prospects, but nevertheless, it’ll be two weeks closer to truly running out of money.

I’ve been told to enjoy this time, to really look for something that makes me happy, to see this as a blessing in disguise, etc.  Yes, this COULD be a good thing but no words you can throw at me are going to fix my current situation.  The only thing that can is a new job.  So I’m looking.  And as frustrating as this looking can be/has been, I can’t help but wonder why I hadn’t heeded the advice of others to begin looking months ago.

As I’ve said, this lay off was disappointing but not an overall surprise.  I believe know that I am a quality employee but if the work’s not there, the money’s not there.  My situation is proof that being assigned solely to one team in an agency setting can be a blessing in busy times and nothing short of a curse in slow times.  The saddest part is that I can’t even say that I’ve learned a lesson.  I saw this coming months ago and was terrified  but all I could do was ask for more work.  If it’s not sent my way from above, there’s nothing I can do about it.  Oh well, their lose, whether they know it or not.  At this point, it does me no good to concern myself with such details.

But the question still remains, if I saw this coming, why didn’t I prepare for it?  Why didn’t I get out?  Or at least start looking?  Honestly, I don’t really know.  Starting to look made it feel like I was giving up, giving up on that job, that company, the three years I’d put in.  I wasn’t ready to admit defeat or ,worse, becoming stagnant.

I love(d) the company that hired me.  My first year our office was positively glowing.  Sure, clients were crazy, executives were “interesting”, people left, interns changed, and the like, but we were 40+ strong, young, talented, and driven.  Working 9-10 hour days didn’t seem like a problem.  Chivis and I were excited if we could make the 6:15 pm Body Pump class at Gold’s Gym.  Sometimes the 6:45 class was still a stretch but we were busy and, more importantly, learning.

I’ll never speak ill of my company because I still love it for taking a chance on my, hiring me from a phone interview, embracing me with open arms, throwing me in with guidance when needed, and obviously paying me to learn.  But I will say that the magic started to slowly fade.  As our ranks shrank, so did our obnoxious morale.  Between the near 65% staff decrease, clients leaving, an awkward merger, my entire team leaving at once, my next boss leaving 6 months later, two rounds of lay offs and my obviously questionable billability, I knew it was only a matter of time and I was afraid I didn’t have the heart to really fight to convince myself anymore.

So what kept me from moving on on my own terms, the best way?  I believe I started to confuse (or mask) loyalty with laziness.  It’s very true that I wasn’t ready to “give up” on this company.  But that didn’t mean I believed it felt the same way about me.  Do I believe it was an easy choice to let me go?  I hope not but I can’t really say.  And honestly, it doesn’t matter if it was.  It happened just the same.  I just don’t know if I stayed despite the paranoia, the numbers and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach becuase I believed it would get better or because I hoped it just wouldn’t get worse (for me).  I think I was just hoping I could close my eyes and it would all go away.  Well, it did all go away, just not the way I was hoping.  My eyes are WIDE OPEN now.

Reminding herself that busy and useful aren’t always the same thing,

Jo’van

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