I read an interesting post on Brazeen Careerist today.  Tyler Hurst asks “What Happened to Femininity?”  Tyler apparently has a problem (slight or extreme is up to your interpretation and current mood) with women assuming traditional male roles.  While he discusses several examples, women in pants seemed to be his main sticking point.  Tyler feels wearing pants is a physical embodiment of the gender roles switching. While I don’t agree with every (or really any) thing he said, it did make me laugh.

My favorite parts:

• Every damn time I see you girls in pants–usually jeans–and a t-shirt, a little part of me dies inside.
• For years you’ve asked us to get in touch with our feelings, but when it comes down to it, you want manliness.
• We get nothing. We get a generation of women raised by their parents with no idea how to cook, how to dress and how to keep up your half of the arrangement.
• I have no problem with men learning more about women and women becoming more like men, but both sexes are inheriting the WORST qualities of the other. Men have learned to be overly sensitive, women have learned to be sloppy and be waited on.

Ok, ok.  Yes, the sexes have begun to assume each other’s traditional roles.  But I think “traditional” is exactly what we get hung up on.  Since when did “traditional” mean “right”?  Traditionally, the women would cook but if the man is a better cook, he should cook.  Traditionally, the men would make and manage the money but if I’m better at managing the bills, why shouldn’t I?  If he is neat and picky, why shouldn’t he clean?  If I like to landscape, can’t I work on the yard?

A lot of things have changed in the last few generations.  I’m happy to live in the present and can only imagine how much closer to “equals” we’ll get in the future.  For now, though, I must accept that there are going to be people that cling to aspects of the “traditional.”  If Tyler wants a woman who enjoys skirts, sundresses and ponytails, I hope he finds one.  There are plenty of women that enjoy being his definition of feminine.  With the option of pants and t-shirts, I’d never be the one.

Now, I wear my fair share of skirts, dresses, halter tops, tank tops, etc.  But first, these pieces require “special” undergarments.  Strapless bras, thongs or (god-forbid) nothing are not comfortable options for me.  I much prefer the security of “traditional” undergarments.  Boxers, briefs or boxer-briefs don’t really compare, guys.  Think wearing a cup all day.

Second, these pieces require special preparation — shaving.  While I try not to be a bear, shaving my legs every day is simply not going to happen.  (I’m only 5’9 but when looking down on my legs in the shower, I could swear I’m 6’9.)  Shaving is time consuming and a hassle I don’t care to deal with on a daily basis.  Pants allow me to skip a few days.  My puppy and roommate would be the only people who know the difference (and I don’t really care what they think).

Third,  and this may only apply to a “thick” portion of the population, but being a not overly thin person, skirts and dresses allow for friction of the thighs.  If you’re not familiar with this sensation, just take my word for it, friction and hot weather are not a good mix.  Pants allow me to avoid uncomfortable long walks.

Femininity is more than the outfit you have on.  It’s about the way you carry yourself.  The most feminine women, in my opinion, are those that can be graceful in any situation.  Changing their oil, shopping for groceries, dancing, waiting for the bus, lifting weights, walking a dog. Floating through it all.  In my dirtiest, most pissed-off, or uncomfortable situations, I hope to carry an air of confidence and poise.  (I hope my) Femininity is the refined embodiment of masculine strength.

Aside from the post itself, the best thing about “What Happened to Femininity?” was the responses.  Some people, presumably the guys, agreed.  While more people (at least those responding) took it personally.  Whether he was serious or not, Tyler didn’t do anything more than state his preference in a mate.  While I don’t agree that jeans and t-shirt are on par with a woman scratching her imaginary balls, I can see what he’s seeing.  I just see it from the other side.

I don’t think of a tight pair of jeans and a babydoll t-shirt as being masculine but then again I don’t expect to be dating Tyler anytime soon.  So it doesn’t really matter what either one of us considers feminine.  As long as his comments remain focused on the personal and out of the workplace, I have no personal issue with his opinion.  He’s not setting us back.  He’s just stating his preference.

Looking for a vest and tie to rock with her a-line skirt for tomorrow,

Jo’van

March 16, 2009
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: dress, feminine, friction, jeans and a t-shirt, masculine, roles, shaving, skirt, traditional roles, uncomfortable . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment