Office Appropriate: Corporate Crushes

Again not completely applicable but I couldn’t resist.  (OK, not applicable at all but it came to mind.)  Belle & Sebastian “Step Into My Office Baby”

It’s a well-known fact that even the mildly talented musicians, artists and dancers make woman swoon.  As much as I’d like to count myself out of this group, I can’t.  John Mayer, Robin Thicke, John Legend, Rob Thomas, Brian McKnight, Usher and the like may be (mildly) talented but they’re not necessarily all that attractive.  (I’ve chosen to go with off the top of my head, relatively current singers/musicians because that’s my world but feel free to fill in the blanks for yourself.)  I wouldn’t go so far as to say any of these men are “ugly” per se.  BUT they all go from “good” to “good Lord” in the eyes of most female fans when they perform (or you listen to their CD, since few artists are actually good live nowadays.  Back in my day…)  Most men, that are not artists, dancers or musicians, find this change annoying.  How can they possibly compete?

The simple answer is: You probably can’t.  But if the situation presents itself, it’s about being passionate about something other people understand.  Put simply “Passion is attractive.”  When a man’s genuinely excited about something he’s created or figured out (as long as it’s not COMPLETELY out of your realm of understanding/agreement), I usually find his description intriguing.  You may not be able to follow every detail, you follow his emotion.  The intrigue may have something to do with hoping he’d one day be that passionate about you but that would be deeply subconscious if at all.  I think it’s more that passion is just attractive.

Musicians, artists, dancers – generally anyone in the creative arts – have it pretty easy.  I mean they still have to be creative and seen as good but their passion is (usually) connected to their craft.  And their crafts are available for mass consumption.  People have deep emotional (and sometimes physical) reactions to visual and auditory stimuli.  Expressive art is only truly expressive once the viewer has connected it to something they understand.  Romantic music has little impact until the listener begins to daydream and/or reminisce.  Dancers are interesting because the audience begins to wish their movements were as powerful and expressive.  It all comes down to feeling something and in that way, the creative arts have it easy.

So what’s the common man to do?  To be perfectly honest, I don’t know.  I have no idea what to tell you.  Yes, I realize I just set this whole comparison up with no resolution but what can I say?  This blog is just a place to dump thoughts.  🙂  I wanted to give a little background to what I’ve coined “Corporate Crushes.”

Over the last few years (since leaving college really), I’ve had the pleasure/obligation of being tasked with relationship building and consulting.  These are vague terms, I understand.  And I intend to keep them that way.  The important thing to note is that part of my job has been to listen and determine how my organization can help.  This required level of listening often lends itself to being exposed to other people’s passions.

(For whatever reason, the majority of the people I encounter are men.  I’m sure a corporate crush could translate to a woman.  But in my (straight) case, I imagine it would be more of a desired mentor than a crush per se.  Anyway….)

As I listen to these men pitch/explain/complain to me, I realize little corporate crushes.  I’m in no way actually attracted to them.  It’s not at all a physical thing.  On the contrary, it’s a simple desire to help them realize their passions, a desire to share their temporary passionate outburst.  Their sincerity is usually heartwarming.  It’s almost like kids with a new toy and business plan.  While I’m sure none of the 35+, C-suite executives would agree with my categorization, it’s just my initial reaction.  I can’t help it.

Corporate crushes aren’t anything to be ashamed of.  I’m not falling head over heels or offering unrealistic expectations.  And the passion has to be backed up by reality.  But if everything falls into place, I walk away thinking “How can I help?  I want to help.”  If they were musicians, I’d walk away in search of the merch table.

Does anyone else experience these temporary “Corporate Crushes”?

Jo’van

Romantic Cynic: My Ideal Woman

Now, picking a song about this topic could’ve been easy and relatively current but I just didn’t have the stomach for Kate Perry.  So instead, I’ve included a really good song by an artist who just so happens to prefer women.  Melissa Etheridge “I Want to Come Over”

My Female Type?  Hmmm, that’s an interesting question.  And as with most things that interest me, I had to spend way too much time exploring it.  I apologize if I offend anyone with my questions or scenarios but just as I make broad assumptions about straight guys, I make generalizations of women, straight and otherwise.

Let me first say that I am a heterosexual.  Not a proud one or an apologetic one, just born that way.  🙂  My physical type of man varies but would probably be tall(er than me), slender to athletic w/ dark features.  I’d like to feel he’d be able to physically “protect” me from whatever.  (Although, I imagine it would be difficult for me to let anyone take care of me.)  Personalities aside, there’s something about attraction of security.

With these attributes in mind, I wonder if I’d uphold the same standards for a woman.  Would I be interested in someone who was essentially “a big, strong man” with different parts?  Would I want to assume the typical “male/dominant” role in the relationship?  Yes, I know these “roles” are strongly based on some archaic heterosexual culture constructions and may not always apply in same-gender relationships.  But there still seems to be a dominant personality in any relationships, regardless of the gender, size, occupation, or the like.

Moving on the the physical, I have enough insecurities and issues related to comparing my body to other women.  Would it be better or worse with a girlfriend?  Would I want to be with someone traditionally prettier than me with bigger breasts and smaller thighs?  Or would a less feminine woman catch my attention? Could I be jealous of the way my girlfriend looks?  Sure, I could feel self-conscious around a really physical fit or Adonis-like man but I couldn’t exactly strive to look like him so it wouldn’t be as bad, I imagine.  I know, as with straight couples, the initial attraction is fleeting because it’s all about the chemistry. Blah, blah, blah.  But I’m more intrigued by what would attract me in the first place.

I have no answers for these questions.  I was just asked and thought I’d explore here.  I think the fact that I’m not in the least bit attracted to women and so easily distracted by fine male specimens makes it difficult to dive any deeper.  Women are beautiful and deserve to be cherished.  I’m just not the one to do it.

Angelina or Brad? Angelina’s gorgeous but it’ll have to be Brad all the way….

Jo’van

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