A couple of weeks ago, I met a boy (as Chivis would say). He was everything I needed to know at the moment: cute, amazing body, fun, seemingly genuine and COMPLETELY not for me (not in order of importance, just in order of what I noticed 🙂 ). Nothing could really be expected from this encounter other than the immediate excitement. And as the excitement passed, I accepted that it had to b/c we were not in the same place in our lives, figuratively or literally. However, that realization did not affect the nearly immediate daydreaming involving him.
You see while I am (and will probably always be) a cynic and extremely girly or cutsy things (or movies) make me physically ill, I am also a hopeless romantic. A single flower for no reason and self-made CDs, notes in the pocket of my jacket and a sweet text message in the middle of the afternoon, asking about my friends and seeming interested, opening my car door, taking my dog out in the rain b/c I just got a relaxer, things like that regrettably make me (for lack of a better word) swoon. Don’t tell me I’m beautiful when I’ve never felt more unattractive or take care of me when I’m sick if you don’t want me to want to remember it.
However, being a person who avoids any possibilities of relationships past friendship (don’t ask me why, I haven’t dug that deep into my subconscious yet), I don’t often encounter people I would allow to make me swoon. Most often if they do, they fell into my lap, therefore catching me off guard, as did this boy.
Being a romantic cynic has its perks in that you can judge and appreciate anyone and their gestures as you like. However, it generally just serves to foster a wonderful imagination. Just b/c you don’t do relationships doesn’t mean you can’t know (and imagine) what someone would have to do to absolutely render you weak in the knees. If there’s not enough personal material to pull from, you simply create it. (The beauty of a daydream) This provides those fleeting crushes (or infatuations depending on the situation) with yet another purpose: to serve as the face of your current fantasy. You know this person would (probably) never do the things you daydream about but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t. The imaginary man of your dreams temporarily has a distinct name and face (or more).
To say/write this out loud is a little strange but I promised to speak only the truth. So for now my imaginary prince charming has a face (and abs) I can describe and care to remember.
Personally judging but forever honest,
Jo’van
The Truth: According to Jo'van 