Quarterlife Crisis: Young Professional

Timbaland featuring Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado “Give It to Me”

At 25 1/2, 3 1/2 years out of school, in the business arena, I am considered a young professional.  As a young professional, I am expected to dress and play the part.  But few people expect me to really know what I’m talking about.  It’s an interesting conundrum.  I’m being paid (entry-level pay, but pay nonetheless) to be a relative expert BUT most people consider me to be a younger/newer version simply regurgitating what someone more seasoned has already said.  And while it’s true that we all learn from the more experienced, that experience is relative to the topic and may be no more than a few months of experience.  In many cases, I may in fact be the expert but my familiarity with pop culture, ability to stay up all night and wrinkle-less face all largely discount anything I have to say.

I realize there’s little to nothing I can do about the perception.  My only options are to play the clueless-under-30 part OR calmly, consistently make my point in a non-defensive way.  The LAST way I want to be perceived is as a temper tantrum throwing 20-something.

But on the flip-side, how do you deal with the insecurities of agreeing sometimes you don’t know what you’re talking about or being asked?  No matter how much you think you know, someone’s always going to know more.  And even worse, someone else is going to know you don’t know.  What do you do then?  You have a handful of options but what I’ve found to work best is simply admitting your ignorance AND asking questions.  Both actions are very important.  Without the questions, you just appear dumb and indifferent.  By doing both, you appear interested.  As much as some people enjoy embarrassing you, more people enjoy telling/teaching you something, acting the expert.

A few suggestions for encouraging your career experts:

1.) Don’t assume to know anything you really don’t.  Deer in the headlights is a dead giveaway you’re trying too hard.  And sometimes signals it may not even be worth explaining to you.

2.) Don’t be afraid to ask questions.  No one’s an expert on everything.  Don’t assume you have to be.  Nobody likes a no-it-all.  Most conversations are teaching lessons.  Be open to being taught.

3.) Ask a few questions you already know the answer to.  After they’ve answered, you can explain it in a different way, making them feel they’ve taught you something AND signaling you’re intelligent enough to view things in different ways.  (This strategy also works well with professors you may be having a hard time with.)

4.) If the conversation is stalling, ask an open-ended “state” or “direction” of the industry question.  Most people love to share their opinions on what’s wrong and how THEY’D fix it.

5.) Follow-up with something intelligent.  Collect a business card (or at least  an email address) and follow-up with next steps, relevant articles, something.  Prove you were paying attention and worth staying in touch with.

Most importantly

6.) Do your job.  Whatever it is, you were hired for a reason.  Someone had faith in your abilities.  Don’t prove them wrong.  Because you have to remember the quality of the people they hire reflects directly on them.

Separately there’s nothing wrong with being young or a professional.  Together, however, they should just mean you’re good but the sky’s your limit.  I’ve got 45 years or so until retirement (if I’m lucky).  I can only hope I have a lot to learn.

Listening to Justin Timberlake while packing my suitcase,

Jo’van

December 10, 2009
Categories: Office Appropriate (Work Life), Quarterlife Crisis, Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

Office Appropriate: Cover Letter Blues

As evident by recent status updates, I HATE cover letters.  I hate writing them, reading them, editing them, giving up and sending them, the whole situation.  I realize that they are necessary but can’t help questioning their true purpose.  Are we supposed to view them as tools for showcasing our verbosity(big word 🙂 )?  How over/underqualified we are for that position?  Or how well we seem to grasp the job description?  All three while remaining engaging, official and short?  Not a challenge at all…

Cover letters make me miss the days of reports and papers.  Sure, we were forced to read some of the most boring articles and books.  But in the end, you got to state your opinion/take on a specific question and back it up with facts and/or examples.  Of course, your professor could disagree or point out something you missed but all you had to do was have an opinion and express it with grammatical correctness (not to be confused with political correctness).  Either way, the whole thing was about something you thought, not on yourself.

The fact that I am about to write this on a personal blog seems to discount what I’m about to say BUT I don’t like writing about myself.  In a regular conversation, if you were to ask me about myself, I’d stammer out a list of general qualities.  But to really know what type of employee, friend, sister, etc, I was, you’d need stories, anecdotes and personal opinions.  Since a cover letter is used, if not expressly meant, to replace a first meeting, for good or bad, you’re given the opportunity to finely craft and proofread your first impression.

I’ve tried to view a cover letter as just a resume in paragraph form but that tactic is flawed.  A resume is supposed to tell what you’ve done while a cover letter is supposed to tell who you are.  That’s a lot of pressure for 3-4 paragraphs.  Plus, isn’t the whole thing about what you need in an employee and not really about me?

Regardless of how I feel about them, cover letters aren’t going away.  I just have to accept them as a part of the process and remember a really good one could help end the process for me.

I believe I would be the perfect fit for this position because….

Jo’van

September 17, 2009
Categories: Office Appropriate (Work Life), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

Office Appropriate: Loyal or Lazy?

All-American Rejects “Move Along”

As of about 10:30 am tomorrow morning, I will have been unemployed for two weeks.  I know that that is not monumental in the grand scheme of things and that countless people have been unemployed much longer and with worse prospects, but nevertheless, it’ll be two weeks closer to truly running out of money.

I’ve been told to enjoy this time, to really look for something that makes me happy, to see this as a blessing in disguise, etc.  Yes, this COULD be a good thing but no words you can throw at me are going to fix my current situation.  The only thing that can is a new job.  So I’m looking.  And as frustrating as this looking can be/has been, I can’t help but wonder why I hadn’t heeded the advice of others to begin looking months ago.

As I’ve said, this lay off was disappointing but not an overall surprise.  I believe know that I am a quality employee but if the work’s not there, the money’s not there.  My situation is proof that being assigned solely to one team in an agency setting can be a blessing in busy times and nothing short of a curse in slow times.  The saddest part is that I can’t even say that I’ve learned a lesson.  I saw this coming months ago and was terrified  but all I could do was ask for more work.  If it’s not sent my way from above, there’s nothing I can do about it.  Oh well, their lose, whether they know it or not.  At this point, it does me no good to concern myself with such details.

But the question still remains, if I saw this coming, why didn’t I prepare for it?  Why didn’t I get out?  Or at least start looking?  Honestly, I don’t really know.  Starting to look made it feel like I was giving up, giving up on that job, that company, the three years I’d put in.  I wasn’t ready to admit defeat or ,worse, becoming stagnant.

I love(d) the company that hired me.  My first year our office was positively glowing.  Sure, clients were crazy, executives were “interesting”, people left, interns changed, and the like, but we were 40+ strong, young, talented, and driven.  Working 9-10 hour days didn’t seem like a problem.  Chivis and I were excited if we could make the 6:15 pm Body Pump class at Gold’s Gym.  Sometimes the 6:45 class was still a stretch but we were busy and, more importantly, learning.

I’ll never speak ill of my company because I still love it for taking a chance on my, hiring me from a phone interview, embracing me with open arms, throwing me in with guidance when needed, and obviously paying me to learn.  But I will say that the magic started to slowly fade.  As our ranks shrank, so did our obnoxious morale.  Between the near 65% staff decrease, clients leaving, an awkward merger, my entire team leaving at once, my next boss leaving 6 months later, two rounds of lay offs and my obviously questionable billability, I knew it was only a matter of time and I was afraid I didn’t have the heart to really fight to convince myself anymore.

So what kept me from moving on on my own terms, the best way?  I believe I started to confuse (or mask) loyalty with laziness.  It’s very true that I wasn’t ready to “give up” on this company.  But that didn’t mean I believed it felt the same way about me.  Do I believe it was an easy choice to let me go?  I hope not but I can’t really say.  And honestly, it doesn’t matter if it was.  It happened just the same.  I just don’t know if I stayed despite the paranoia, the numbers and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach becuase I believed it would get better or because I hoped it just wouldn’t get worse (for me).  I think I was just hoping I could close my eyes and it would all go away.  Well, it did all go away, just not the way I was hoping.  My eyes are WIDE OPEN now.

Reminding herself that busy and useful aren’t always the same thing,

Jo’van

July 21, 2009
Categories: Office Appropriate (Work Life), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

The World…As I See It: Layoffs

Layoffs are officially scary.  They’ve hit my second home(s) and it’s painful.

I’m pretty young and ignorant to things such as “financial downturns”, “recessions” and “depressions”.  For me, the worst a bursting bubble could do would be to get in your hair.  I don’t own stocks, bonds, a house, or my car (yet).  I haven’t started my 401K.  My debt is ridiculous.  My savings account is always closer to zero than not because I can’t afford to save.   But I never really worried.  As long as I was doing my job well, keeping my clients happy and not pissing off upper management (too much), I should be able to avoid getting fired.  And anyway, fired you (probably) see coming.  Fired you might be able to prepare for.  Fired you can start shopping around to beat them to the punch.  But a “downsizing” is an entirely different story.

When someone up above says shave some of your costs, a company can only cut back on happy hours, Friday breakfast tacos and the multitude of interns so much.  At some point, staff numbers have to come under the microscope.  Then what?  How do you decide who goes?  I thankfully have not been in that position so I can’t presume to really know but I can just imagine it’s difficult.  Not only are you possibly ending someones career but you’re admitting your company’s not doing as well as you’d like everyone to believe.

In this current economic climate, every company (it seems) is experiencing “staff restructuring” but that doesn’t make the people directly affected by it feel any better.  Just because you’re not the only one doesn’t mean you’re not still wondering but why me?  Or in my case, if it’s someone you respect and care for “why them?”

A friend of mine was very recently let go.   Rather than be bitter, angry, or depressed, he’s unbelievably positive.  While I’m sure it hurt him and shakes up any plans in the making, he seems to be treating this as just another bump in the road.  With the level of graciousness I don’t even think I could muster up after a fender bender, he managed to make three of us laugh and feel better about his situation.  Some people deserve way more respect than they’ll probably ever receive.  (I love you, Roberto.  And your man boobs. 🙂 )

In the end, I guess the questions don’t really matter but too many unaswered may begin to outweigh any positive or even understandable answers.  This is a scary time.  Between my two jobs, I’ve survived three rounds of  “thank you buts” so far.  But if my name comes to the top of the list next time, I don’t really have a plan in mind.  There is no money set aside to survive.  Hmmm….I guess that’s a problem.

Looking for things she can sell for emergency rent,

Jo’van

January 12, 2009
Categories: The World...As I See It (Everything Else), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 1 Comment

Office Appropriate: Where Is Your Casual Attire Considered Business?

Business casual attire seems to be a common problem for companies across the country.  Jeans, polos, flip-flops, short skirts, shorts, tennis shoes, open-toe suede platform stilettos.  Where is the line drawn?  Has it in fact only been drawn in the sands of time?  If so, was there a corporate sand storm I missed while watching What Not to Wear?

I recognize that while I am relatively young in the workforce (just barely under 25), I am a traditionalist at heart.  In the office, I feel there should be difference between what you wear to the office and what you wear either to the bar or just to grab a few groceries on the weekend.  If the outfit calls for your sexy, sassy perfume or would best be accessorized with a color-coordinated pair of Crocs, may I suggest that you return to your closet before proceeding to work?

Do I ever dress inappropriately (by Jo’van standards) to the office?  Oh, yes.  Everything’s covered but that’s not always the final determining factor.  Some days I just don’t feel like putting up the effort to look as professional as I should/could.  Peer pressure to fit in and all.  I work in a pretty causal profession in a very casual city.  With tech companies redefining the work uniform as either a school logo-d t-shirt or polo, khaki shorts or jeans, and flip-flops or tennis shoes (Mix and match as the pile of clothes on your floor allows), success and appearance are no longer synonymous.  You can be a slob and a self-made millionaire at 25.  (On the other side, you can be half-naked and marry a self-made millionaire at 25…)  However, we are not all so lucky (or waxed).  Unless dressing up means ironing your commemorative UT National Championship t-shirt when a client comes into the office, why must we test the boundaries any (and every) other time?

A few pet peeves for the fellas.  (My list for the ladies is longer because we have more options.)

1.) Wrinkled or Fold-Creased Clothing: If I have to explain this, we have a problem.  Wrinkled or fold-creased just screams “I don’t care.  I bought the shirt.  You should be happy.”  Hint: NO drycleaner creases your shirt horizontally.  Iron that shit out.

2.) Tennis Shoes with Dress Pants:  Look I get it.  Women have more options.  But rest assured, our mass of options are just more choices of uncomfortable shoes.  “My dress shoes are uncomfortable” will not fly with me.  Wear some stilettos and let me know what you think after.  Just wear the shoes you know you should.  Hint If a Nike, Adidas, Reebok, Puma, Vans, etc logo appears on the outside of the shoe ANYWHERE, they’re tennis shoes.  Personally, I’m not a fan of cowboy boots with dress pants (or anywhere) but now live in Texas and have no say.  So if you need a change from the traditional dress shoes and loafers, go that route (as tastefully as possible).

3.) Unshaven messes:  Shaving sucks.  I agree.  (Mine covers more surface area but you have to walk around with little pieces of tissue paper on your face when you screw up.)  And you have the right to grow out your facial hair as you please.  However, do so with attention to your appearance.  As you try desperately to make those patches appear to be a beard, please keep them all even.  Monday’s 5 o’clock shadow turns into Wednesday’s “have you looked in the mirror.”

On to the Ladies…

Oh, to narrow it down JUST to 10.

1.) Flip-flops: They look cheap and are noisy.  I should never have to see that much of someone’s foot in a “shoe.”  (I HATE feet.   Everyone’s.  Mine included.)

2.) Decorated Flip-flops: A bejeweled or leopard-print flip-flip is STILL a flip-flop. 

3.) Mini skirts: They made a come back but were never appropriate in the office in the first place.  This applies to tall and short people alike.  The old high-school rule of hands to side and skirt passed your fingertips is no longer enough.  An office appropriate skirt should always be closer to your knee than you middle finger.

4.) Mini skirts with Tights: Mini skirts are still office appropriate skirts missing valuable fabric when paired with opaque tights.  Tights are thicker versions of stockings (or hose, depending on what you call them).  They are not a pant substitute.  If you would not wear the same skirt with pants (thus making it a wide belt), it should not be worn to the office at all.

5.) Ultra-tight or Ultra-clingy fabrics: If you have Jessica Biel or Halle Berry’s bodies, congratulations.  But that does not mean it should be flaunted at the office.  Feel free to rub it in the rest of the world’s face in other more appropriate situations.  For the office, stick with fitted.  Please note: Fitted does NOT equal tight.  If you are incapable of making the distinction, go with a little loose.  Clean cuts and fabrics not completely made of Lycra are a good start.  If you have not been following the Biel or Berry exercise and diet regimen, you should already understand why you should never wear tight or clingy clothes.  Showing off what you either don’t have but wish you did or do have and wish you could give away is not really showing off…

6.) Extreme Cleavage: Bosom-blessed women.  I’m sorry but this one’s just for you.  (Don’t worry.  The next one’s for people with my body type.)  Sexy and serious are not the same thing in the office.  In addition to the several men who will have ENTIRE conversations with your chest, you’re opening yourself up for chronic chest colds.  Companies like healthy employees.  If you cannot live without your v-neck or scoop neck tops, please invest in tank tops with HIGH NECK LINES.  If you tank only covers one of your six inches of cleavage, it’s not enough.  Good effort and all but no.  I’d also reconsider any top where the buttons covering your chest appear to be holding on for dear life.  Just a thought.

7.) Booty-Exaggerating Bottoms: If you’re blessed with a permanent cushion from backward falls, congrats but please recognize the careful attention you must now pay to work pants and skirts. Lines across the butt and skirts that come up three inches higher in the back than they do in the front are not cute.  Don’t overcompensate by swallowing your butt in extra fabric and ill-fitting bottoms.  Baggy booty is not attractive either.  But please, don’t wear pants so tight across the butt that we can describe the pattern of the lace on your underwear or we can actually see the thong you’re wearing (thus defeating the purpose).  Clothes should hug, not suffocate, your curves.  Plus, such ill-fitting clothes can actually create rolls, extra curves you don’t want.

8.) Spaghetti Strap, Strapless, or Halter Tops: Full chest, shoulders and upper back should not all be exposed in the office.  It’s a little too much skin.  Bra straps (clear or otherwise) are not supposed to be used as accessories.  Strapless and spaghetti are non-negotiable.  However, if the halter covers equally in the front and back (typically with a mock turtleneck style), this should be okay.  Otherwise, pair these tops with a cardigan or shrug you DO NOT plan to remove.

9.) Proper Undergarments:  I am not one to govern your underwear.  Granny panties or thongs, lacy bras or sports bras, do whatever is comfortable AND looks good.  For instance, I am personally anti-thong.  If I’m going to pay the same price, I’d rather pay for more fabric and comfort.  Anybody that tells me thongs are comfortable is a liar. 🙂  However, if I choose full-coverage underwear and form-fitting pants, I must be cognizant of the infamous panty line.  (I think I’ve finally found the brand and style that prevents this fashion faux pas.  Let me know if you’d like the secret to my newly found comfort.)  Likewise, if your top does not allow for a normal bra, it probably should not be worn to the office.  (Please refer to Number 8.)  For NO REASON should you enter a professional setting without a bra.  Hippies, I’ll debate you on this statement, if you’d like.  Saggy boobs and a physical thermostat for cold weather are not office appropriate.  Well, at least in my line of business…

10.) Junior Staff Dressing Better Than Upper Management: I’ve always heard that you should dress one level above your current level.  Something about your appearance matching you level of work, making the decision to promote you that much easier.  However, I take personal offense to the idea of the majority of junior staff looking more professional than their bosses and senior colleagues.  I’m lucky enough to work in an office with interns.  I find it very interesting that interns can (and do) dress nicer than their supervisors.  Do as we say, not as we do.  I get that.  But still, everyday out dressed by your intern?  Really?

I am a stickler for some traditional rules.  Unless I can dress like a college student on campus (not our interns at the office), I’m never going to be comfortable at work.  If I’m not comfortable, I feel I should look good.  My good may be different from your good.  That’s fine.  I just wish we could find a common definition of what professional looks like.  No one expects hose and ties but ironed shirts and jeans not frayed on the bottom shouldn’t be too much to ask.  And don’t tell me business clothes are too expensive when you’re walking around in Seven jeans and BCBG heels or Kenneth Cole tennis shoes and a Miss Sixty button-up.  Damn my mother for making me look nice growing up…

Reevaluating my closet,

Jo’van

November 9, 2008
Categories: Office Appropriate (Work Life), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: 4 Comments

Office Appropriate: Managing Up

I have to say “Manage Up” is definently the most interesting term I’ve encountered since entering the professional world.  Sure, “Circleback“, “Ping” and”Head Down” are formiddable contenders but nothing is quite as puzzling or seemingly faulted as “Manage Up.”  “Moving Forward” we’ll refer to it as simply MU. 

Very early in my career, my boss introduced me to the term when we discussed my not-so-smooth relationship with a senior colleague (please, note that I said senior colleague and not boss).  I was basically told that if I wanted to successfully (and sanely) work with this colleague, I would have to learn how to MU.   At first, the term sounded confusing, then almost empowering.  I was being tasked with a sense or level of managerial responsibility.  Only after I “Noodled Over‘ the term further did it become apparant that my “Due Diligence” in the successful excercise of this managerial responsibility would only serve to directly and positively impact the perception of my senior colleague’s managerial abilities, i.e. I realized it’s true meaning.  (Jo’van Definition: Managing Up = Learning how anyone above me works, thinks and performs and catering my delivery and workload to their quirks, no matter how ridiculous or egotistical.)  Suddenly, empowering transformed into enabling.  (I will NOT be an enabler!)

Granted, MU will be a part of everyone’s day-to-day life in corporate America.  But that doesn’t mean you have to like it. 🙂

I’d love for someone to explain to me why it is my responsibility to manage someone who’s being paid tens of thousands of dollars more than I am to manage me (amongst other things).  I can’t seem to “Wrap My Head Around” the concept and all of its implications.  Yes, they are senior to me because of their experience and years worked (even if the latter is more imporant in the hiring process).  But why would they be promoted to a position that puts people “under” them when they’re not mature enough to manage effectively AND respectfully?  OK, so maybe not everyone’s situation is that serious but the point still stands.

It is frustrating to manage a manager (and not get paid extra for it).  And yes, I do understand that there will be a transition period for a new manager.  BUT that transition should not be at the expense of your team dynamics.  Your junior colleagues are not automatically transformed into secretaries or interns.  (No disrespect, but those are simply not my titles.)  Your transition period should be about “Drillng Down” to learn to properly manage, not properly managing to piss me off on a daily basis.  (OK, off the rant…)

I’ve realized that in my case, learning to MU means:

1) Doing MY job to the best of my abilities (justifying my paycheck)

2.) Not doing YOUR job (unless you plan to share the proceeds)

3.) Staying calm as I tell you how/why I won’t be doing your job (listing my daily projects and objectives)

4.) Keeping my emails and IMs politcally correct and office appropriate (in case of an audit)

All the while 5.) Cracking jokes and smiling politely as I silently curse you out with my eyes for shortening my name (The fact that my name has common derivatives does not give you the automatic right to call me any varierty of those derivatives.  I simply don’t like it.  K?)

Hint: You’re probably safe to call people whatever they sign their internal emails.

Respectfully,

Jo’van

October 12, 2008
Categories: Office Appropriate (Work Life), Whole Truth, The . Tags: , , , . Author: tjovand . Comments: Leave a comment

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