Romantic Cynic: Up to Your Physical Standard

Everyone wants to be with someone they’re attracted to.  Thankfully, we all have different “types” making it easier for us all not to fight over the Brad Pitts and Halle Berrys.  Some people like the Carson Dalys and Roseannes.  Regardless of what your type is, you want to think the person you’re attracted to is cute, up to your physical standard.  But then you wonder just how cute you are.  Are you a movie star (after the airbrushing), an average person or a hobbit?  Are you up to your own physical standard?

When it comes to attraction, we’re all faced with three situations.  Which one would you prefer?

1.) You’re cuter than your partner.  What do you do if you know you’re more attractive than your significant other? Does it boost your confidence or make you worry they’re only with you for your looks?  Is the connection strong enough for you not to desire a cuter boy/girlfriend?

2.) You’re partner’s cuter than you are.  Everyone wants to be with someone gorgeous (by their terms) but how does that make you feel when you look at photos of you two?  Are you proud of what you’ve been able to snag? Or are you wondering when they’ll stop playing around with you and move on to an equally beautiful person?

3.) You’re equally attractive.  This is a difficult balance to reach.  We see this most often at the extremes.  Either you are a Ken and Barbie couple or you both look like someone beat you with the couple’s ugly stick.  With “average” looking couples, there’s bound to be one person that’s more attractive than the other.  It just depends on whether you’re considering faces or body types.

So where do you typically fall?  Are you just a beautiful person who can’t seem to find anyone as attractive as them?  Or an ugly person vainly striving to catch that one beautiful person to give your children hope?

I’d like to believe that I am pleasantly average.  There’s nothing too offensive about my appearance.  While there are things that could be better (small bosom and magically disappearing top lip) but there are also things that could be far worse (suffering from noassatall or having fat feet).

I’ve recently considered how I would feel about dating someone I knew was much more attractive than I was.  While I’d like to believe I’d embrace this as an opportunity to bask in beauty’s glow at every possible chance, I don’t know if my ego could really take that.  Would I be able to overcome my insecurities and accept that person could think I’m also beautiful and like me for me?  Probably not right now in my self-evolution.  I’m not that comfortable with myself yet.  Instead, I think I would assume they were just passing time with me until a barbie walked by.  If their face is mesmerizing, shouldn’t their partners be?  If they have the sculpted body, shouldn’t their partner?  Wouldn’t you want to believe you contributed to the cuteness of a couple’s picture?

If the person I’m dating is more than attractive than I am, I think we ‘ll both need to be closer to average than either extreme.

In search of her above-average beau,

Jo’van

Eye of the Beholder: Shot Glass Therapy

Ok Ok.  It’s not as bad as it could sound.  It’s not the type of therapy you get from the contents of a shot glass but from the messages printed on them.  Like this one…

A Cutie with a Bootie Needs a Hottie with a Body

A Cutie with a Bootie Needs a Hottie with a Body

This particular shot glass makes me laugh because it’s so ridiculous and so true.  Only I’d substitute the “Needs” for a “Wants”.  I don’t need a man with a nice body but it sure would be nice.  🙂  But I wonder, if I’m looking for someone with a six-pack and beautiful arms, does that mean I should at least have a flat stomach and nice legs?  (Long does not equal nice, only more to shave.)

Is it unfair to want a level of attractiveness you yourself don’t live up to?  I’m average, normal, whatever. But I want to be with someone gorgeous.  Yes, that might lead to jealously or possessiveness but I’d be basking in his glory in the meantime.  I’d like to be THAT couple you see on the sidewalk when you wonder (almost out loud) “Why is he with her?”

This level of expectation is unrealistic, I understand that but somehow it creeps into my mind whenever a prospect approaches.  If I don’t know you well enough to consider you a friend, I can only evaluate you on two levels: appearance and conversation skills.  However, I’m  most often approached when shot glasses are an appropriate part of the decor.  Conversation skills are then affected by alcohol, people and noise and I’m left solely with appearance.

Is it so wrong to want a potential boyfriend to not have bigger boobs that I do?  I’m on the petite side.  Any competition could be detrimental to my self-esteem. 😦

How about a guy who’s body is pretty solid?  I’d like to be the soft one in the relationship.

And I just have a weakness for sculpted arms.  It must have something to do with a feeling of security.  Flex for me, baby. 🙂

I’ve got some expectations to re-evaluate.  Until then, I’ll just admire from afar and appreciate all of the hard work some of the guys at my gym are putting in.  Can you work out enough for the both of us? 

Dreaming of Morris Chestnut abs and Dean Cain arms,

Jo’van

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