The World…As I See It: Facebook – Defeating the Purpose of a Reunion?

Sadly no video from a duet for the ages from the Royals Class of 2002. 😉

Last year, I attended my 10 year high school reunion. While I didn’t expect any real drama, it was still largely/sadly uneventful. Despite the efforts of our two organizers, only about a third of our class showed up for one part or another. But the truly disappointing thing was the near lack of surprises. For the most part, all you needed was a Facebook account and a little time on your hands to “catch-up” via legal cyber stalking.

Apparently foregoing potentially awkward, inconvenient and/or costly reunions in favor of social media is not limited to the Royals class of 2002. School reunion attendance is on the downturn… New York Times story “Remember Me From Yesterday?”

As the graduating class of 2002, my classmates and I were among the early adopters of Facebook. The site, which launched in February 2004 at Harvard but quickly spread across U.S. college campuses, was new, novel and a seemingly better option than MySpace or BlackPlanet. (Remember that? Haha.) In addition, in the beginning you had to have a college/university email address. That alone gave you the impression of exclusivity (and hopefully fewer high school kids and creepy old men lying about…well everything).

After a few months of gentle prodding from an early adopter friend, I signed up near the end of the first semester of my junior year and joined the Facebook “revolution”.

For better or worse, Facebook has been a part of my (near) daily life for 8 years now. Much like iPods perfected/cemented what mp3 players “should be”, Facebook redefined social media. Millions of people cannot go a day – or an hour really… – without making sure they’re not missing out on life as defined by updates, photos and likes.

I both love and hate Facebook for its “magical” connective properties. Facebook, Twitter, instant messaging and texting have made it possible for us both to connect with people we would not normally get to see or talk to and also avoid real, meaningful interactions. Technology has opened the door for the socially awkward and passive aggressive to connect. You never have (or should want) to be more than one click or swipe away from EVERYONE! and their business. (While I recognize Skype and like video conferencing are among similar advances, I see it as more connective than passive. Sometimes it’s simply nice to see the people you’re talking to even if you can’t touch them.)

I’m not going to bemoan the death of our culture. But there have been significant changes, some I like, others I don’t. In the case of my high school reunion, your curiosity could be satisfied on your couch with a smart phone, denying people like me the opportunity to see it in real life. Come on, let’s be honest, people only post the most flattering or hilarious photos of themselves on Facebook. I want to see the trainwrecks and the still-beautiful-10-years-later-so-I-continue-to-hate-yous in person, under harsh lighting. Is that so wrong?

Oh, and of course, I loved seeing my more than Facebook friends (you know the ones whose birthdays I know BEFORE Facebook reminds me) in person. Our small group essentially used a reunion as an excuse to all be home at the same time. Everyone else was just extra. Facebook had already informed us of everything we thought we needed to know about you and your life.

Wondering if we’ll even have a physical 20 year reunion? Perhaps just Skype or FaceTime?

~Jo’van

The World…As I See It: Praying? No, Just Checking My Phone

Madonna’s “Like a Prayer”

A few months ago, I went to lunch with a few co-workers.  (I still had them at that time. 🙂 )  I believe it was somebody’s birthday lunch of something.  Normal chit-chat, ordering, blah, blah, blah.  As the food arrived, I noticed something.  As I bowed my head to pray before eating, I noticed the other 4-5 people around the table also had their heads bowed.  Only they weren’t praying, they were all checking their phones.

Now, I don’t always pray before eating, sleeping, traveling or any of the other established times to pray.  Nor do I expect everyone to pray before their meals.  So it’s not that I’m judging those not praying at that particular time.  I just thought it was interesting that text messages, voicemails, email, Facebook and/or Twitter updates have replaced thanking God for the food we’re about to receive in a social setting.

Maybe everyone around that table falls guilty to my forgetful prayers.  Or it’s not important to them.  It’s not my place to say or determine what is important to others.  I’m still trying to figure out what is for myself.  I have to admit that most of the time my text messages and tweets take precedence over bowing my head in prayer.  It’s just interesting that bowed heads around a table can mean such different things.  Thanking a higher power or the absolute drive to stay connected.  New social norms.  Praying in public can make other people feel uncomfortable or guilty.  But incessantly checking your phone is just fine.  Present company be damned.  It’s obviously not engaging enough.

Dear Lord, I would like to thank you for the text message I’m about to receive…

Jo’van

Office Appropriate: Work-Life Social Media Balance

I am an old school person.  And by old school, I mean someone who grew up in the 90s.  I expect to work on a computer and still enjoy reading a physical magazine.  A movie version will never replace a good book (except for when it was for a senior english paper you procrastinated to write).  My iTunes library is large but I still like to purchase the CD.  A true ballader is Brian McKnight, not Usher.  Destiny’s Child never lived up to En Vogue’s precedent (who probably never lived up to the Supremes).  But I digress.  The point is I grew up learning to live digitally, not expecting it.  With only a 6 year difference, it’s amazing to me just how much more connected my younger siblings are (and I’m only 24!).

I was the first generation of Facebook.  While MySpace and Black Planet (haha) were already around, Facebook was unique because it was connected to your university/college.  You could only create a profile with a school email address.  It seemed safer, more exclusive.  And purely for fun.  You found your friends (not colleagues), posted photos of drunken nights (not corporate mixers although they can be the same), and wrote the most ridiculous things you could think of on their walls (not browsed for new marketing ideas).

I work in an industry that is embracing social media on a corporate level.  I get it.  New ways to connect with the customer.  Get in their face ANYWAY you can.  I agree it can be an effective business model.  However, I’m not THAT kind of customer.  I want my social media to remain social.  I want to browse my friends’ profiles, not those of companies trying to get my money.  It somewhat ruins the experience for me when I spend hours of billable time browsing these sites.  Why would I want to get on Facebook after work?

Bosses, colleagues, interns and college students I never interviewed are requesting to be my friend.  What do I do?  Is it rude not to accept?  What about relegating them to a “limited” profile?  Does that send a bad sign?  There’s nothing in my profiles that would embarrass me if any of these people saw it.  But at the same time, I don’t really want them to see my photos on the beach in college or last year’s Foxy Brown Halloween costume.  We’re not close enough for me to want to share.

(I know potential full-time employees, interns AND collegiate athletes whose profiles have gotten them into trouble.  It’s not worth it.  If you must post, please realize WHAT you’re posting and WHO can see it. )

Facebook is for connecting with friends.

MySpace is for discovering new bands.

Twitter is for sharing your random thoughts when you’re too lazy to update your MySpace and Facebook statuses.

Blogs are for sharing your opinion.

Yes, companies should be able to reach their customers anywhere their customers can be found.  But MY social media is destined to remain social.  Unless you know my middle name, have been invited to my apartment, had a conversation about more than your resume or have talked to me about more than next week’s assignment, don’t expect to be considered an unfiltered friend.  If it hurts your feelings, I’m sorry for you.  I may help companies become more social, I have no intention of towing the work-life social media line any more than I have to.

Updating her limited profile list,

Jo’van

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