Not directly related but it is about slowing down… Enjoy some vintage, pre-Snookie lookalike Christina.
We’re all warned about it. No one should be surprised. Only a select few can hope to avoid it, those who are biologically immune to the inevitable. Although you should be prepared, it will probably start to sneak up on you, gradually killing your…waistline.
Yes, your metabolism will slow down!!! Oh, the (in)humanity!! How dare my body deceive me and decide to showcase the foods I eat and exercise I avoid! Long gone are the days pizza as a late night snack and/or breakfast is a perfectly acceptable idea. Long gone is the bottomless pit stomach or potential modeling career. (Okay, scratch that. I’ve never been THAT skinny and I’ve always loved food.)
While you may not become a hard-core calorie counter or marathon runner, around a certain age, you start to recognize your choices have repercussions. Another reason being a grown-up sucks. You start to feel the need to rationalize (or excuse) your dietary and exercise choices. “If I do this today, I get to/have to do this tomorrow.” “I deserve a treat.” “I’m not supposed to look the way I did at 20. Life has happened.” “But I’m working harder than I used to. This isn’t fair.” and on and on…
Over the last 3-4 years, my metabolism has slowed down, a steady decline. It was time. I was in my mid-twenties, a fitting addition to a quarterlife crisis. And now my body, the thing I just started to figure out and get comfortable with/in, is betraying me. From acne to muffin tops, some of us only get a few “good” years. After that, we start to the painful and annoying process of denying or excusing.
Personally, I’m an excuser. I revolt against the idea of not having the one food I’ve been craving for minutes, hours or days. My cravings are also rather intense. I’ll eat my weight in “healthier” avoidance foods, doing more damage than the original crave, only to give in to the original crave anyway. My only saving grace and reason I’m not currently 400 lbs is the fact that I don’t crave things often. And I like fruits and veggies. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are few things in the world better than fried potato products and ice cream but I believe that most of the time my brain is on my side, or at least on the side of vanity. Sure, health plays a small, pat-yourself-on-the-back part in it but let’s be real, it’s really about vanity.
However, while I am an excuser, I am also an adult, therefore making me a reluctant denier. There are (many) times something like tres leches or avoiding Body Pump sounds like an excellent idea. And then I look at my…slowed body, pick a part. My wasted Gold’s membership is evident in the middle. Sugar and potatoes evident on the arms and legs. I’d even argue my lack of sufficient water intake could be seen in my face and skin. Add a few gray hairs and it’s official, I’m getting older.
I guess metabolism is as dirty a word as thirty or wrinkle. It’s just a part of growing up (Yay!!!). And every time I want to complain about it, I should try to remember the joys I would’ve never experienced if I ceased to exist the day my body started to betray me.
Sure, I can get in shape. It’s just going to be harder than it would’ve been a few years ago. And who wants to do all that work when you can just complain about it and opt for the 4 piece nugget instead of the 6 and congratulate yourself with a cookie?
I couldn’t resist. The song I wish a man I love could sing/say to me and mean AND Miss Piggy and Kermit!!!!
Musiq Soulchild’s “Don’t Change”
When we go off to college, we quickly learn about the famed “Freshman 15”. Supposedly, the first year you’re away from home, you’re supposed to stop eating vegetables (because your mother’s not making you) and pledge to exist on pizza and beer (bought by cooler, older juniors and seniors or the weird kid down the hall with a fake ID). This waist enlarging myth was recently debunked by researchers at Ohio State. (Refer to the NYTimes) According to the study, first-year students gain on average 3 lbs. 15 is an extreme exaggeration. Heavy drinkers gain more (lite beer, anyone?…) and students with a job tend to gain less (other priorities and possible movement beyond reaching for the phone with Pizza Hut on speed dial). Makes sense, right? Ok, a myth debunked.
Besides college, the other time of great weight gain (non-pregnant) people my age discuss or consider a given is what I’m terming the “Relationship 15”. (The 15 is not necessarily part of the general description but it’s a rough estimate for my recent gain.) Supposedly when you get into a long-term relationship, it’s very likely that your happiness will be visible in your growing wasitline. (This is also something said for recent newlyweds.)
There are a number of possible reasons for the “more of you to love”:
1.) Keeping Up Bite for Bite – Sometimes when on dates or out with friends, it’s tempting to keep up with your significant other bite for bite. When you first start dating, it may be tempting to order a salad and appreciate your favorite pair of Spanx. After all we like to put our best, manicured, permed, new outfitted, stiletto-ed foot forward. A few months in and fried cheesesticks and sweatpants might be sounding pretty good.
2.) Indulgent Meals – Dates often give us an excuse to eat the things we want. When you go out with friends, the favorite, cheap restaurant or dish might be your goal. If you’re anything like my friends and I, you want it to be good but may not be ready to drop $50+ to hang out with friends. Some people (i.e. I) use dates as the perfect way to try that new restaurant. If you’re going somewhere new, you might be tempted to try whatever grabs your interest or the house specialty. Get dressed up, order wine, make it an occasion.
3.) Alcohol – Along the same lines of indulgent meals, increased alcohol consumption might add a few ounces to your pounds. While you may struggle to justify having a beer or glass of wine by yourself, having someone to share that new or favorite might be the perfect excuse to indulge.
4.) Heart to Stomach Key – The old saying “the way to a man’s heart is through is stomach” is debatable but embraced just the same. When I was single, I cooked “good” meals when I craved them or had a particular occasion to plan for. As a woman in a relationship, I’m more tempted to consider making more “real” meals; meat and potatoes, more than a shake or a salad. There’s also a desire to impress. I was never grown up enough to host or attend “dinner parties”. With a man, there could be a “dinner party” everyone night if I had the available patience and groceries. (Although, I will not be cooking or cleaning by myself. That’s an entirely different post for a later time…)
5.) Adopting Bad Habits – The more time you spend with someone, the more traits you (can) pick up from them. Eating habits are just one of them. If you have a problem with restraint but your significant other likes to have options on hand, chances are their supplies will dwindle while your pant size increase. If your significant other eats light and early but you enjoy late, full, heavy meals, you may see your other getting a little more bootylicious. Etc…
6.) Workouts Interfering with Cuddling – When you’re in a good relationship, it’s normal to want to spend as much time with that person as possible. I’m not condoning anti-social behavior but wanting to cuddle rather than doing most things you do to fill up your time is understandable. There are many reasons to workout including vanity, control, to fill up time and because over all health is important to you (ugh). If you’re like me and it was a mix of some of these things, a comfortable relationship can get in the way. You’d rather be with that person than alone on a run or at the gym.
7.) Loss of Motivation – For some, working out is a means to looking good which is a means to attracting a man/woman. Once you’ve secured a “good one”, working hard to maintain whatever you had may not seem all that important. In the same way, cute little dresses and heels give way to sweatpants and slippers, steady workouts can give way to questioning your gym fees.
8.) Emotional Eater – Relationships can be good and bad. If you’re an emotional eater and things aren’t all pretty pictures, eating your feelings can make you feel temporarily better until you realize you’re still unhappy and you’ve begun trying to justify elastic waistbands to yourself.
Now no one just beat themselves up for putting on a little extra weight. If you still feel confident and your other still thinks you’re sexy, embrace the little extra and move on. Having more than you wanted in some places can be forgiven for having more than you hoped for in others. Think on that…
But a little is not one or two (or three or four) pant sizes for me personally. Physical attraction often plays a big part of the inital formation of new relationships. While a relationship built on love and devotion can be hard to shake, a dramatic weight gain in a few months time could probably still hurt. Thinking you’re getting one thing and being handed something else a little while later can make some people reconsider the whole thing. And that goes for more than just weight, people.
Do what you have to do in your relationship. But if you’re unhappy with your current physique and believe your relationship may an underlying cause, make it a point to figure something else out. Ask for encouragement, explain your concerns, figure out if you can be workout buddies and above all else don’t stop being the you you want to be because someone else loves you. If they really love you for you, they’ll understand the importance of taking care of you (mentally or physically, whatever your motivation).
Despite writing this post while digesting a Thanksgiving dinner/platter, still getting very fed up with her Relationship 15 (or 18 if we’re really being honest),
About a year ago, I was talking to a male friend. We were just chit chatting, waiting for other people to finish or show up, I don’t remember exactly. Anyway, we started talking about working out. He has been known to be somewhat of a gym rat if the mood arises. As I’ve said before, I know that I need to work out to look the way I want but I don’t love it. And because of that lack of love, my gym kicks go in waves. At that time, I was on a new one, only a few weeks old. After talking for a little while about what we do and don’t do, blah blah blah, he threw me a curve ball. As calmy as ever, he looked me up and down and said, “You’re working out. You must be having sex.”
Now, sex is natural and beautiful and all that loveliness but it’s still something I consider to be private, for me and everyone else. I had no idea how to react. At that time, I wasn’t even talking to, hoping to flirt, or anything else with anyone, let alone concerned about anyone seeing any part of my body not already visible in work clothes. The comment just blew my mind. Is this why men or everyone thinks everyone else works out? Is there anything wrong if that is the reason? What are your real reasons for working out?
I’ve already admitted that my main reason is vanity, not naked vanity, just the normal kind. I want to be a size 8 (occasionally a 6 or 10 depending on the cut). I think this size looks good on me. I’m still relatively young and have the available time and resources to exercise. I really have no excuses not to. I’ve never been the type to really complain about my current size/body but sometimes those glances in front of the full length mirror cause an unpleasant double-take. What’s a girl to do? Complain or sweat? I complain enough about other things. I’ve decided to spare the people around me from another unnecessary topic.
Possible Reasons for Quality Time on the Elliptical Machine:
1.) Health: Okay. That’s an easy one. Who doesn’t want to be healthier? The problem is that most of us aren’t willing to sacrifice to be healthy. We’re just waiting for the big pharmacy companies to come up with a pill, or better yet a one time shot.
2.) Vanity: Yes, I’ll claim that one. We all want to look better than we currently do, even the people who already look amazing. But not everyone’s got Giselle’s genetics or LL Cool J’s personal trainer. For most of us, our appearance is extra, not a part of our job description. Famous people are famous for a reason. We’ve got to stop comparing. I’ll never look like Beyonce. I’m just trying to look as good as I can, regardless of those around me.
3.) Muscles: Yes, this is tied to vanity but there are some people who work out for a particular goal, competing and such. No real comment on this one. But all of those sinewy muscles and veins popping out kind of grosses me out.
4.) LGN Diet “Looking Good Naked”: I’ve got to admit the name is a new one for me but needs no further explanation. Although, it seems that people are fueled by this motivation until the couple gets really comfortable and starts to gain together…
5.) Special Occasions and Summer: Closely tied to the LGN Diet, often times people work out to fit and/or look better in certain outfits for certain occasions; weddings, reunions, bathing suits, vacations, etc. This motivation is generally temporary.
6.) Fun: Heaven knows why but some people actually enjoy exercising. I wasn’t blessed with that gene. But if you’ve got it, rock it, I guess. I was blessed/cursed with the “eat good and sleep well” gene. (Note: Eating good does not necessarily mean healthily, just tastily…)
I didn’t really have a purpose for this post. I just really wanted to write about the new term I learned, the “Looking Good Naked” Diet.
Wondering why everyone else at the gym is working out,
I picked the WRONG time of year to go on a hiatus from the gym. My 3-4 times weekly kick has passed and I’ve settled into a once a month (maybe) routine. My third week of this slump ended up being the week of Thanksgiving and although I had dinner at a friend’s house (so no leftovers for days), I took that as a proverbial sign that I had hit the holidays and saw no reason to work out until January. I’m not a gym New Year’s Resolution type of person and the crowd of resolution-ers in January and maybe the beginning of February will get on my nerves. I just take breaks throughout the year. This seemed like an appropriate time to take a break. It didn’t sound appealing to work out just long enough to make it not hurt anymore only to stop a couple of weeks later and go through it all again. Until of course I remembered it’s also holiday party season….
Eggnog, Jingle Bells, Mistletoe, Champagne, and Grown Up Holiday Parties. Gone are the days of “holiday” parties in sweatshirts and tennis shoes. December is now the time to pull out your closed-toe stilettos, cocktail dresses and clutches. Cocktail dresses are not nearly as invasive as bathing suits but they still can flaunt the flaws (especially if you wear them as “fitted”as I do). Satin is NOT forgiving. The roundness that has become my abs is not well hidden. What’s a girl to do?
1. Suck it in all night? Simply not realistic. I’d forget and look very different from certain picture angles.
2. Spanx? Not very comfotable. And what if they start to roll? Or if I have to go to the bathroom?
3. Go up a size? Sure but can’t really afford new cocktail dresses right now…
Ok, so I’m screwed. I’ve just worn what I have and attempted to avoid pictures. However, that didn’t last very long…
The Truth: According to Jo'van 